On my private blog, I’ve flipped a new chapter in my ongoing story. I’m closing Chapter Four: Polyamorous Life in New York and starting Chapter Five: Kink Explorations. This milestone represents a change of focus in my life.
Of course, I am still poly, and I’m still a leader in the poly community. But in short, I feel I’ve learned everything I want to learn about polyamory and have incorporated that into my identity. Now I feel that it’s time for me to put that aspect of my life on the back burner and focus on something different.
I’ve been part of two alternative communities in my life, starting with the transgender community, both online and in the real world, when I was transitioning. I spent two years in that community in Houston and on the old Transgender Boards, where I was a sponsor and an leadership member before they migrated to a different server and I lost contact. But it was through those Boards that I met Tara, and guided me to my new life in the Northeast.
In January 2008, I joined the poly community by attending meetings at Polyamorous NYC, and in October of that year, I met Puck at the Poly Pride rally in Central Park, where we were both volunteers for the event. The idea for Open Love NY was hatched at Poly Living 2009, where I was a volunteer on the tech team. That year I also started going to the monthly Poly Cocktails events and went to 13 of them in a row. I took a lead role as a liaison between PolyNYC and OLNY to create the new organization, and then organized the first public event in November celebrating Puck’s 19th birthday. In March 2010, we started our regular monthly meetings, and I was appointed OLNY’s first president in July.
It has mostly been Puck who has introduced me to the kink community, starting with rope play with Ryan back in August 2009 ("Polys in the wild" - August 11, 2009). But I also attended Manhattan LoveFest IV in July of that year on my own ("Manhattan LoveFest IV" - July 31, 2009), and Alphabet Soup back in April 2009 where I saw fire play for the first time ("Fire play" - April 24, 2009). Bonnie also had a small amount of influence in 2010.
So I can say I’ve dabbled up until now, but I want to start exploring it with intention. I don’t know where it will lead, but I also certainly never thought I’d be the president of NYC’s largest poly group only two and a half years after coming out poly. When I put my energy into getting involved with something (or someone), I usually get some kind of significant result. So we’ll see where this new direction leads and how far I want to go.
