Thursday, August 21, 2008

Decision 2008

There is a lot happening in my life under the surface that I'm not ready to talk about in this space yet. Some of you have gotten snippits of it via private emails, and of course, my family each has their own individual level of involvement they are dealing with. Perhaps there are changes coming in the near future; perhaps not - I guess it depends on how courageous, open-hearted and flexible we're all willing to be (myself included).

I came across this article today about open marriages, a chapter excerpted from a book by noted polyamorist Jenny Block called "Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage." It's probably one of the best articles I've seen that describes the level of communication and issues management that I feel is required to make a multi-partner relationship work.

Unfortunately, in reading this article, and in listening to last night's PolyNYC speaker at my monthly group meeting, I realize how far I have yet to go in being successful at the poly ideal of having a responsible, consensual non-monogamous relationship. There's no reason to give up - but I feel I should be trying harder instead of letting things take their own course, which I've been doing for a while now. I have to be more vocal about who I am and what I want out of life. I didn't come all this way to settle into a life dictated to me by society, or even by people who are close to me. I have to choose my path, instead of letting it choose me.

Perhaps the first step on that path will be taken tonight.