Losing weight

It's chicken parmigiana day here at the office, which is hard to resist, but not impossible. It's the second week of eating healthy, and I'm definitely noticing the results. It's helpful that Polina is doing it with me, so we can support each other and swap cooking tips.

I always felt like my problem is not losing weight, but keeping it off. But I also recognize that my life over the last two years has been so chaotic that I haven't been able to focus on healthy eating, which leads to shortcuts like eating too much takeout and junk food.

It's also not helpful that Nearing provides tasty hot entrees, soups and desserts at work that are not always very healthy. It's like eating out every day for lunch already. Thankfully, they also provide healthy salads, sandwiches and fruits too - it's only a matter of choosing them over the other stuff.

Even after just my first week, I've noticed a difference in my waistline just by cutting out carbs and fat. I've also noticed a reduced craving and appetite for food, and I've come to realize that a lot of times I eat not because I'm truly hungry, but just because it's mealtime, or I'm bored, or I have food cravings. So by taking away food cravings and putting stricter rules about what I allow myself to eat, I'm drastically reducing the number of calories I consume per day. I also mistake thirst for hunger a lot too, so I've been drinking a lot more water at home than I did before.

Another plus is getting back into the habit of cooking food, which I used to do regularly when my family spent Saturday nights over at my place for dinner, playing cards and watching movies. Without that regular interaction, I got lazy with the cooking. I've only hosted one dinner at my current apartment (the True Blood marathon this past summer) which is too small for anything more than four people (and they'd better be cozy with each other). But this past week I made a grilled chicken breast with artichoke hearts in a balsamic vinegar sauce, a Chinese chicken stir-fry and fried tofu with hot bean sauce and pickled bamboo shoots. So I'm going to try and keep inventing new things as I go along.

I think more and more that I must be a submissive personality at heart. I like having the boundaries on food and feeling in control of what I'm eating because I'm following rules. I suppose the people who know me best would say I show similar patterns in other aspects of my life. I think I've always thrived with structure rather than chaos. I like routine, to a point. I don't know if it's a reaction to the maelstrom my life has been in the past six years, or if I've always been this way. If I was always this way, I don't see how I would be the person I am today because my old life had a lot more structure in it than this life ever will.

Day 23 of South Beach Diet

It's been three and a half weeks since starting my diet on Sept. 15, and I'm pleased that I've lost 10 pounds so far. The results are definitely starting to show. My co-worker commented yesterday that she could tell I'm losing weight - she said I looked sleeker. Today for the first time, I'm having to wear a belt on my "fat" pants to keep them up. But don't worry about my wardrobe, I've got plenty of stuff to wear on my way down the scale.

The attention reminds me of when I did this diet in 2004-2005 when I created quite a stir in my office. My appearance changed so radically - it was like I went from middle-age to college age in a few months. I still chuckle at the time a grocery clerk mistook me for my ex's offspring or younger sibling rather than spouse. Granted, I am younger than her, but by less than a year.

Anyway, I'm still groovin' on Paramore - I bought the album I was looking for yesterday and ripped it to my iPod. I also love this song off their new album, Riot! and I bought it last night on iTunes. I'm pretty sure I've seen this video before somewhere, but I can't remember when. It's hard to miss Hayley's shocking red hair.

That's What You Get


I also love this review of the new album on Amazon:

Ah, youth: the exuberance, the energy, the blistering highs and bottomless depths. It’s an ideal breeding ground for true rock & roll belief. Hence, the youngsters of Paramore unearth geysers of loud, sugary angst on Riot!, their major label debut and follow-up to 2005’s All We Know Is Falling. Small-town musicians who have played together for years, Paramore boasts the appeal of an emo-pop blast developed out of savvy songwriting and musicianship. The sweet spot the band hits--somewhere between Avril Lavigne and All-American Rejects--comes naturally. Lead singer Hayley Williams, barely 18, has big-time vocal depth and genuine charisma besides, and while her singing can sound a little contrived, she delivers with such end-of-the-world conviction that it’s an easy flaw to forgive. Bright and catchy melodies abound, but songs like "Misery Business" and "Miracle" also feature razor-sharp cadences and ultra-clean transitions. Too clean, actually. The production is crystal clear, which accentuates the stumbles (mostly on the ballads) and robs these whippersnappers of the messy highs they surely achieve playing live. But some things can’t be entirely glossed over, and while the more aged among us will sip our Scotch and make fun of their adolescent shenanigans, we’ll also be surreptitiously listening on our iPods after we put the kids to bed. --Matthew Cooke

Also, after much ado yesterday, I found a nice hardback copy of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris which I've been reading in paperback, but I hate the paperback cover, which is a tie-in to the HBO series True Blood (showing a close-up of a female vampire's lips, fangs and tounge). The hardback cover is so much nicer, a pretty painting of the vampire Bill and heroine Sookie Stackhouse flying over their town, wrapped in a glittering cape together. I'm much more interested in the romance than the blood-sucking, as with the Twilight books.

South Beach Diet - Day 1

Today I started my long-awaited South Beach Diet with which I hope to lose about 50 pounds over the next several months. The last time I tried this diet, I lost 60 pounds in only six months, so I know it works for me, and I know 50 pounds is an achievable target.

When I did it before, it was during the most emotionally tumultuous period of my life in 2004-2005. My life today is much more stable by comparison, so I'm hoping it will actually be easier for me to stick with it. Part of the reason I think I gained back a lot of the weight I had lost before was that I was decompressing from riding out that time period in my life when things were so turbulent and uncertain. Basically, I celebrated a little too long that I'd made it through. I also had a year-long recovery from major surgery that made my diet a secondary concern.

Now that I've pretty much arrived at a place in my life where I'm reasonably stable, happy and not anticipating any other major emotional or physical turmoil, I'm looking at this diet to help me achieve my target weight and stay there for the rest of my life.

Speaking of beaches, Tara, Bee and I sent to the beach yesterday in an improptu search for adventure. The water was pretty cold, but we eventually succumbed to the waves and were floating past the break zone on our boogie boards. I had one good ride onto the beach, which had been swept clear of all the shells we encountered on our last visit earlier this summer from the recent storm activity from Hurricane Gustav. After our swim, Bee and I flew her dragon kite while Tara took some pictures. In a last hurrah before starting my diet, I had White Castle for dinner - 10 little sliders with A-1 sauce, onion rings, and an Oreo sundae shake from Burger King. That kind of excess is why I need to get on this diet, to enforce some discipline in my eating habits.

Bring on the fat!

This is a fascinating article in the New York Times today about how the myth was born and perpetuated that a diet high in fat contributes to poor health:

Diet and Fat: A Severe Case of Mistaken Consensus

Aside from the fact that it appears that eating fat does not actually lead to bad things like heart disease, the real interest in this article is how it's an example of the dark side of democracy in a sense. The point is that if you get enough reputable people to agree on one thing, there are social forces that can compel a group to reach the wrong conclusion, one that is based on assumptions and not hard data.

If the long-held idea that consuming fat leads to a shorter lifespan has such a dirty secret origin, it tends to make me suspicious of any conclusion made by the so-called experts of the world. And of course, don't get me started on the politicians that perpetuate fallacies for their own agendas. I guess the lesson is that we all need to think for ourselves and not rely too heavily on expert opinions.

I got a new assignment today to help prepare a pitch for a governmental agency in the country of Qatar, which is located on a peninsula in the Persian Gulf. I narrowly avoided having to actually go there to present the pitch, since my boss wasn't able to go, but another VP stepped up and volunteered. Part of me does like the idea of traveling overseas, but the idea of being alone on business in a Middle Eastern country, even a relatively liberal on like Qatar, doesn't sound like my idea of fun.

And by the way, it's hard breaking the habit of reaching for the "u" key on the keyboard when typing Qatar! There's also been some disagreement on the correct pronunciation - some call it "Kay-TAR" and others say "CUT-ter." Anyway, new project, so I'll be learning about this country with the funny name.

The Yankees lost last night, so their season is over. My family is taking it really hard, being lifelong Yankees fans. For myself, I have the comfort of merging right into the basketball season, where I still follow my beloved hometown Houston Rockets on NBA League Pass. That's pretty much the biggest reason I even bothered to get cable installed last weekend.

Plus, as the weather gets cooler, I'm looking forward to going out to the park and shooting some baskets with my brand-new ball I bought last year and never took out of the box. I think the fact that the Rockets won their two NBA championships in 1985 and 1986 during my formative years has something to do with my being a lifelong fan. Being part of a sports championship is a very special thing for a sports fan - you have to be a fan of the right team at the right time, unless you're the fair weather type of fan that jumps on any championship bandwagon.

And besides, how many other women can say they've shot baskets one-on-one with the great Rockets center Hakeem Olajuwon on the court of Hofheinz Pavilion at our alma mater, the University of Houston, as I did when I was in college?

La Boheme

It was a relaxing weekend after my crazy week, which was punctuated by Friday night's adventure with Agnieszka and Carol at the New York City Opera.



We met at an Italian restaurant just across the street from Lincoln Center and had a quick dinner. I came directly from work, and they took a bus in together from New Jersey. It was Carol's first opera ever, and I'm glad it was this one, being one of my top three favorites. Agnieszka has seen several operas, but never this one. I saw the Met's performance of the opera last year, but it was interesting seeing the different staging at the NYC Opera.

Of course what makes it even more interesting how I just saw Rent on Broadway, and less than two weeks later I'm seeing the opera that inspired it, with the truly original Mimi, Rodolfo (Roger), Marcello (Mark) and Benoit (Benny). Different music, different names, but the same story, with the notable exception that Mimi actually dies at the end of the opera. In fact, the only opera with a happy ending that comes swiftly to mind is Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro.

After the opera I rode the bus back to Paramus with my friends, and then had to hike about 12 blocks over the Passaic River and through Wallington to get back to Agnieszka's house. Fortunately we didn't run into trouble, but I'm not keen on doing that again. Carol then gave me a lift back to Yoshi at the train station garage on her way home.

Saturday was a relaxing day - did my errands in the early afternoon including a stop at Borders to pick up a couple of DVDs: Troy (Director's Cut) and Absolute Garbage, a band I've been rediscovering since checking out their album Bleed Like Me.

Speaking of getting into music, I've been obsessing over the British rock band Muse for the past two weeks, listening to their past two albums, Absolution and Black Holes and Revelations. I think of them as a cross between Jeff Buckley and Radiohead, with a little of Porcupine Tree's penchant for writing catchy rock melodies. Check out the songs "Time is Running Out," "Starlight" and "Supermassive Black Hole" and you'll see what I mean.

Sunday I cleaned the apartment, and also went to Loehmann's to spend all my collected coupons, including my legal birthday discount of 15% off the top of everything. I got several tops, four pairs of earrings, a colorful skirt and a couple thongs. I didn't buy many bottoms because I'm still losing weight and my size is likely to change. I've lost 15 pounds now since starting my diet August 13 (about six weeks ago) and still sticking with it. I'm starting to see a difference in my face, which is noticeably less chubby, and of course my waist size has gone back to about what it was in late 2005. I had set a goal for myself of 20 pounds when I started, but I might amend that when I get there.

So far, so good

Last night I stepped on the scale to weigh myself since it's been exactly one week since starting my diet, and I have lost five pounds. So I'm right on course in losing the 8-12 pounds I expect to lose by next Monday when I go to Phase 2 of my diet. I was happy to know that my friend Colleen is giving the diet a try too - I hope it works as well for her.

The basic philosophy of the South Beach Diet is based on the power of positive reinforcement. Sure, you can diet any number of ways and lose the weight slowly, maybe a pound a week, and many people consider that healthier. However, by "crash-dieting" in Phase 1, you get fast results that motivates you to stick with the diet. Also, in Phase 1, by restricting almost all carbs, sugars and fats, you not only lose most of your cravings for such things (plus a lot of your appetite), it also makes Phase 2 (where you reintroduce good carbs) seem like indulgence by comparison. Eating bad carbs (white bread, refined sugar, corn syrup) puts your metabolism on a roller coaster of quick energy and carb cravings that's hard to break just by slowly reducing your intake. Let's face it - it's easier to maintain your willpower for two weeks than for two months.

The point is that I've tried traditional "slow and steady" diets and I tend to get frustrated at the slow progress and just give up. I suppose that's in my nature - I'm very results-driven. But in the end at Phase 3, the South Beach is like any successful diet in that it should produce a lifestyle change. In my case, it's about cooking more food at home and eating out less (especially during the work week, which saves money and weight gain), eating treats in moderation and eating more vegetables. A big part of that is learning to cook healthier foods and using healthier ingredients, like olive oil (or as Rachel Ray chirps "EVOO") instead of butter, herbs instead of salt, and hot sauce instead of ketchup.

The first week of my diet I pretty much ate the same thing over and over every day:

Breakfast: 2 hard-boiled eggs with A-1 sauce
Morning snack: 15-20 dry roasted cashews
Lunch: 1 soy burger patty and stir-fried vegetables
Afternoon snack: Two slices of roasted turkey with low-fat Laughing Cow cheese rolled up
Dinner: 1 soy burger patty with roasted garlic hummus and stir-fried vegetables

Other ingredients included pickles, capers, salsa, Indian garlic relish, and whatever else I could find that fit the criteria. I also had sugar-free Life Savers and other hard candies for desserts. When I went out to eat, I could usually find broiled fish on the menu - I just skipped the rice it came with. I could also have salads with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, but I didn't bother to mess with the fresh ingredients. You'll notice that everything on my list can be prepared in advance and refrigerated, which isn't as healthy as fresh food, but a whole lot more convenient. Also, everything I'm using is available at Costco, which makes shopping even easier. And the thing about Phase 1 is that it only lasts for two weeks, so it's not very long to put up with such restrictions.

I'm also starting to do more experimental cooking with fish and my soy burgers. I got a spice rack from Costco with 20 difference spices on it, and I'm trying different combinations. On Sunday I made a Cajun blackened salmon steak that tasted really good. I used to enjoy cooking, and I hope to continue to make progress on it.

Some of my other lifestyle changes are that I'm trying to exercise two or three times a week now, and I'm taking a daily multivitamin again. Bringing food into the office requires coolers and plastic containers, which I had to acquire, and cooking requires more pots and utensils. All these things I planned for in advance of my diet, and that's what's going to make this effort a success.

Of course, I feel that the reason I did not keep the weight off the last time I was on the diet is the tremendous upheaval in my life immediately following the diet in 2005 and 2006, namely quitting my old job in Houston, leaving my family and moving up to New Jersey and looking for a new job while staying in a hotel for two months. But now that my life has achieved what I feel is a pretty stable equilibrium in all areas, I can focus on improving myself and making lasting changes - not just with the dieting and exercise, but also with the allergy shots, expanding my reading list and having new experiences in general.

Ratatouille

I'm completely slammed at work today, so the only thing I'll post is this recipe for ratatouille that I might try once I get out of Phase One of my diet (after Aug. 27). I don't expect it to be better than the Pixar movie, though.

I'm excited about tonight - going to see Tara's band play at a restaurant in Battery Park City. Then tomorrow Tara, Bug and I are having a museum outing. How I live for the weekends!

Make it a good one, wherever you are!

Are men just gullible?

You know what's interesting about sex-related spam messages? Almost all of them are directed at men - "Gain up to 5+ inches" "Become the man you always wanted to be" ad nauseum. I see very few ads these days on increasing bust size, although they were quite common in the past.

From what I know about the science of human anatomy, it's much easier to grow boobs than penises, so I'm wondering why all the penis enlargement ads. Could it be that they have indeed found a way to enlarge male anatomy, or could it be that men are just more gullible and likely to fall for a scam than women? I think we can all agree that men, not women, are the more concerned party when it comes to penis size, although women seem to have more body image issues than men in general.

It's the third day of my South Beach Diet and things are going well. I've noticed a diminishment of my waistline, not so much that it's flat, just that it's not protruding as much as it was before. There is a noticeable loosening of my "fat" clothes that I've been having to wear, and hopefully soon I'll be able to wear more of my "thin" clothes. I just hope that I don't lose fat from my butt or my boobs, since I've gone from a C to D cup in the last year and I'd like to stay there. Hopefully losing the fat in my belly will make me look a little curvier by not being so thick-waisted.

On the work front, I got put in charge of a project to submit a proposal for an ethanol advocacy group, which is a pretty interesting subject and a politically hot topic right now. Unfortunately it means a lot more work for me, so less time to goof off like I'm doing now. Also, I'm thinking about canceling my acting classes to lighten my schedule, which is a shame, but I need to get more sleep, especially at the tail end of the workweek.

Beds and Boca burgers

It was a fairly eventful weekend, although it doesn't make for exciting blog print. Stardust was wonderful, although they changed a lot from the book, so it was not as faithful a rendition as Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. Still, it was a well-crafted and engaging fantasy movie, although I would hesitate to call it a classic. Perhaps subsequent viewings might change my mind.

Saturday I slept in late until after noon since Bee and Tara were off on their own and Bug was spending the day writing. I woke up with a very stiff back from being in bed so long, and I decided that it was time to bite the bullet and buy a new bed. The current double bed I had been sleeping on was not only too short for my liking, but it was also too firm for my liking, since it was a donated set following the fire of 2005.

I had bought a new bed last year that was very well-used earlier this year when I was recovering from surgery, but I lost that one in the March 2007 fire. The reason that the donated mattress survived the recent fire is that I had given it to Bug to replace that awful inflatable Sleep Number bed she was using. So when I moved into my current apartment and bought all the furniture, I got a bed even more firm than the one I'd given Bug. Since she likes firm beds, we switched them, and that's how it came to be that I was back to sleeping on the bed I was sleeping on in Houston after the first fire. But with the disposal of that bed, there are no more pieces of furniture left from my days in Houston.

So Saturday I went to Paramus to find a bed, but first I stopped at the big B&N bookstore to look around. I had picked out a book and DVD, but didn't buy them because I discovered I'd left my coupons at home. I'm sure they will still be there when I go back this week. On the way to Sleepy's I stopped at Burlington Coat Factory and found several nice tops, mostly in black. This was a nice find because they were the same brand as Tall Girl typically carries that are designed for tall women, but at 75 percent off the price that Tall Girl would charge. I got two short-sleeve tops and two hip-length tunics with 3/4 sleeves.

At Sleepy's I tried out all the Simmons mattresses (I'm a fan of their pocketed coil design - two of the last three mattresses I've actually purchased have been Simmons) and liked their pillowtop the best. It was pretty expensive, but they gave me 20 percent off, and free financing for two years, so that makes it a lot easier to pay for. Sometimes it's nice to have good credit. Plus, they even threw in a dust-mite barrier cover for free, plus free delivery and removal of my old mattress (about $200 all told) since I had to wait around so long. The best part of the deal is that I bought the mattress at 9:30 p.m. and they were still able to deliver it on Sunday. That's what I call service!

Sunday morning I got up before noon and went to buy some queen-size sheets for my new bed and pick up my monthly prescriptions. Almost as soon as I got back, the delivery truck arrived and we set up the bed. Ah, it's like sleeping on a cloud! Unlike the rest of my family, I like soft beds, and this one is probably the softest I've ever had. I should have done this months ago - sleep is too important to skimp on.

The rest of the day was spent washing sheets and preparing for my diet, which starts today. It's the South Beach Diet again, and I'm back in Phase 1, which lasts for two weeks with minimal carbs and fat and no sugar. That means I'm eating mostly eggs, nuts, turkey, low-fat cheese, Boca soy burgers and stir-fried vegetables for the next two weeks. At the end of two weeks, I'm supposed to be 8-12 pounds lighter and ready for Phase 2. We'll see if I'm as successful this time around as I was last time I did this.