Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Birthday wishes and dreams

Today is July 15, and it's the birthday of the person you have all come to know as Michelle. As I usually do on this date, I think back about the year gone by, and I'm happy to say that, compared to years past, things have been fairly stable in my life. Stability is a good thing after all the turbulence since 2005. I'm still at the same job, the same apartment, the same family and mostly the same friends as last year. I haven't had any fires or natural disasters strike me this year as I have in the each of the previous two years, which is a nice change of pace. But of course, there have been major ups and downs with my relationship with Tara and the rest of my family.

Last July, we were probably at our lowest point, after being at our highest point just a month earlier. Things were strained all through the second half of 2007, but in January we reached a turning point, and things have been steadily improving since then. Today, we are probably close to where we were in June 2007, but with a slightly different relationship structure. It seems to be a relatively stable model so far, although it certainly has its drawbacks. But we continue to work on it, and honor the love that holds it together. If fortune smiles on us, we may yet reach a point where everybody can be happy in a sustainable way.

As longtime blog readers know, probably the most significant thing to happen this year is my exploration of polyamory, as chronicled extensively in this space. Accepting myself as poly in January has made it possible for me to reinvent my relationship with Tara and take responsibility for my own happiness, which has at least given us another chance to create a peaceful, loving bond between us. Only time will tell if we can overcome the difficulties that my poly philosophy imposes on us.

But for now, I'm just looking forward to a night of celebration with my family, sharing love and giving thanks once again for the life I've been fortunate enough to find for myself.