Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Random rambling

Random blog post on my one night this week home, before the rest of the week gets too busy.

I just got finished reading the last few years of Bug's blog, which, like mine, has over 1,000 posts. We weren't kidding about being twins separated at birth (we share the same legal birthday). Read about the death of Tara's kitty - so very sad. Also found a lot of cool pictures and web links that I'll check out later.

I do miss my family sometimes, but not in a way that makes me think I belong with them. I miss Bonnie too (I was walking around her neighborhood in Elmhurst, Queens on Saturday with my friend Barbara) but not in respect to being in a relationship together. Not surprisingly, I don't miss my birth family in Houston, because those memories truly do feel alien to me. They belong to another person, the person I used to be. There's not enough of "me" in those memories to feel connected in any way to that old life anymore.

Monday was Poly Cocktails, and I was playing hostess with my brightly lit nametag, greeting new guests and keeping an eye on things. I had to reprimand one guy with a warning for non-consensual touching (he put his hands on my friend Adele's shoulders and she complained loudly). It's hard playing the cop at these shindigs, but someone has to. I told everyone that I would commit to one more year of being President, but I would not seek a third term in 2012.

Things would go a lot more smoothly if everyone would just default to handshakes all around, but somehow once you get to the hugging stage, people tend to take liberties. I get kissed on the cheek a lot more than I actually consent to. I'm going to have to do better in establishing my own space and rules about physical contact.

Puck called me Sunday night from Russia to let me know they got in okay. It was nice to hear their voice. They're having trouble sleeping, due to a combination of noisy seagulls, Russian white nights and jet lag, probably. I appreciate, as always, the effort they put into staying in touch while we are separated by great distances.

I've been thinking about the use of the gender-neutral pronoun, and how comfortable it is becoming for me to use it. And it occurs to me that every time you use a gendered pronoun (she/he, him/her) to refer to someone, you are making an assumption about their internal gender that might not match the gender you think they are because of your judgement about the way they look and sound. It's much more respectful to allow them to choose their preferred pronoun rather than assume. Because this is one assumption that can really hurt if you get it wrong.

I was watching all my Harry Potter movies in preparation for my double feature Thursday night - I'm so excited! It's part of a whole pile of events I have every night this week (besides tonight). Tomorrow is the Poly Women's Group, Thursday night is Part 1 and 2 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Friday night I'm going to a kink play party with Bellatrix, Saturday is Lori's birthday during the day and Elisa's (Jet and Piper's roommate) birthday in the evening, and Sunday, Diana is throwing a backyard barbecue party.

I guess I'm trying to keep myself busy so I'm not moping around while Puck is away, but maybe I'm overdoing it. After all, I am going to Ireland and London for 10 days starting July 24th with Agnieszka. But they are all good things, and I'm happy to be spending time with different people, renewing old connections and making new ones.

Life is made to be lived, after all.