It was exactly 1,001
days ago today that I first met Kacey. It was on Easter Sunday in 2011, and we
were both not at our best. I was struggling with some relationship drama and
she was battling a nasty cold. But we found ourselves sitting side-by-side at
our friend Storm’s egg decorating party, making Ukrainian Psanky Easter eggs,
which is a very time-consuming, delicate process. After three hours we managed
to decorate a total of only three eggs between us. But what we lacked in artistic
egg-producing fertility was more than balanced by the fertile ground where the
seed of our friendship was planted that day.
It was three months
later at our second meeting when that seed of friendship actually took root and
began to blossom. She had invited me to join a group of friends to walk the
High Line, but everybody else had to back out, leaving just the two of us. That
night we walked and talked for hours until the park closed and they had to kick
us out. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with whom I’ve felt so immediately
comfortable talking about real things with complete honesty.
When I think about
that night on the High Line and how our friendship developed from there, it
always brings to mind the quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald: "They
slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered."
Spending time with Kacey is a wonderful treat for me, as I know it is for many
people. More than anyone else I know, she embodies the combination of joy,
sincerity, sophistication and positive energy that is nourishing to the human
soul.
The first time I met
Becker was about a year after I met Kacey, on Feb. 6, 2012, at my first visit
to Shotz, the monthly theater performance that we all now attend regularly.
That was also the first time I met Kacey’s friend and bridesmaid Kristina, who
gave a memorable performance playing a Barbie doll in one of the short plays
that night.
Now Becker, as I’m
sure many of you will agree, is a natural introvert and so it took a little
more time to get to know him. And what I’ve discovered about Becker is that he
brings something just as vital and nourishing as Kacey’s energy – and that is
his grounding, steadying influence. Over the past two years, we’ve formed our
connection as fellow introverts in the quiet corners of rooms filled with
excitable extroverts like Kacey and some of her friends – you know who you are!
Chris, I certainly
don’t envy your being at the center of so much attention today and I hope you
are holding up well!
When Kacey asked me if
I’d like to propose a toast, I really had a hard time thinking of what to say.
As an activist for polyamory and modern open relationships, I might seem an
unlikely choice to speak at a wedding.
But then I am reminded
of the one simple truth that both scientists and poets agree upon – that love
is the primary reason for our existence. I believe in the power of love to
overcome all obstacles and find its way into our hearts, as it has found Kacey
and Becker.
It gives me such
tremendous joy to see my dear friends – my intentional family – in love and
happy together, and celebrating this journey as they enter the next chapter of
life. I love you both and I wish you every happiness that the world has to
offer.
May the best of your
yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows. To Kacey and Becker!
