Staycation 2014

I've been battling a sinus infection the last couple of days which has really spoiled my Labor Day weekend. I started to feel it on Friday when Kacey and I visited Papacookie for the last time together. It was three years, four months and five days prior on Easter Sunday in 2011 when we first met there, so it was fitting that my final visit to this seminal space should be in her company.

Jonathan is moving out within the week and he is giving away a lot of the extra stuff that has accumulated over the many decades his family has lived there. As I've said to Jonathan before, I find Papacookie endlessly fascinating because everything is so old and vintage, and very few of my belongings have been in my possession for more than a few years (because of the two fires in 2005 and 2007) and my distance from my birth family. Probably the oldest possession (other than photos in storage) I have is my friend Snoopy on the couch, who just turned 20 this past Valentine's Day. I also have a Raymond Weil wristwatch that is probably about as old as Yoshi (and probably similar in value by now), both about 15 years old.

Earlier in the day, Kacey and I had a late lunch at our hidden Shanghai restaurant in Chinatown for soup dumplings and then went shopping. I found a huge 8.5 liter tea kettle at a restaurant supply store and Kacey showed me her new time lapse video app. After dropping things off at TSMC we met up with Becker at Papacookie and then we went to Battery Park City to see Sin City: A Dame to Kill For.

But going back to last weekend, I had a nice visit with Puck in Boston. We visited the Museum of Science, which had a pretty amazing Lighting Show using a giant Van Der Graff generator.



We had an early dinner in the North End at a restaurant called The Daily Catch, which was featured in Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmerman, that serves Sicilian-style seafood caught within the past 24 hours. The menu is entirely written on a chalkboard that is updated daily. And the kitchen is smack-dab in the middle of the restaurant that only holds about 20 people.



I had these enormous cherrystone clams on the half shell, and a Clams Casino, plus a squid-ink pasta with anchovy butter, onions and peppers. Everything was tasty and wonderful, in that rustic homemade way when you're visiting a friend's house for dinner.





After the museum closed, we walked around the riverside park near the St. Charles River while enjoying some pastries we bought at Modern Pastry. As nighttime fell, we went back to the museum to visit the Hayden Planetarium and watch Laser Floyd, a laser show to the soundtrack of Pink Floyd's album "The Dark Side of the Moon."

Sunday we visited the Museum of Fine Arts, and their wonderful collection that included a magnificent J.M.W. Turner called The Slave Ship. There were also gorgeous frescoes by my favorite American impressionist, John Singer Sargent, and a nice collection of modern art as well.












We had dinner at Legal Sea Foods, where Puck had their first Bananas Foster, a classic Creole dessert of bananas flambéd with brown sugar, rum and banana liqueur and served over vanilla ice cream. This was hardly the best version I've had, but the ice cream. at least, was excellent.




Afterward, we went to the Skywalk of the Prudential Tower and took in the views of the city. We came back early and watched The Adjustment Bureau at the Magic Treehouse before turning in.



Monday I came back home and in the evening Lourdes came over for dinner of scallion pancakes and dumplings and to watch Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society - a good choice for her since she's a teacher and has never seen it.

Tuesday I took a trip up to the Bronx to visit Sylwia near her workplace and we had lunch at a Salvadorian cafe nearby. She met up with me later at TSMC and we went to the Open Love NY meeting together. I led a discussion with about 40 attendees about Poly 201 skills, or what I called 3 C's and an H - communication, consent, commitment and honesty. We went to the Theater Row Diner afterward as usual, and I had a nice catch-up with Katie M.

Wednesday Lori and I had an adventure in upstate New York. We packed a picnic and drove through Harriman State Park to find a picnic spot near a lake.

We drove to Woodbury Commons outlet mall and spent a few hours shopping. I found a few nice deals at the Tommy Hilfiger, Banana Republic and Ann Taylor Loft stores. We even bought some macarons (dairy-free for Lori) and drove to nearby Bear Mountain to enjoy them along with the view.

We walked around Perkins Memorial Tower and found a group of juvenile deer along the road, who let us get very close to photograph them.

We also watched a lightning storm roll in over the Bear Mountain Bridge until it got too close for comfort. We were standing on a mountain, after all.

We drove down Bear Mountain and visited Palisades Center, Lori's first visit to this gigantic mall. There's a five-story high rope course that was pretty awe-inspiring, and we did some more shopping before having a late supper as the stores closed. I managed to drop Lori off in Elmhurst and return the Zipcar with less than 10 miles and 30 minutes before my reservation limits.

Thursday I brought a couple of dresses to Nordstrom Rack to be altered and then Natalia came over in the evening to watch Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. And then Friday was my day with Kacey and Becker. As far as staycations go, it's been a pretty busy one.

Update enroute to Boston

There’s nothing like a four-and-a-half hour train ride to Boston to get the blogging motor going. This is Puck’s last weekend in Beantown before they move on to their next assignment in Philly, so since I said I would visit them this summer, I’m taking the last opportunity to do so this weekend.

It’s been a fairly quiet week and a half since Tori, mostly because I’ve been sick for the first time in a while. I very rarely get sick and when it happens, it usually doesn’t last for long. I’m exceptionally lucky that I have such a strong constitution since I spend a lot on medical bills because of who I am. So last Saturday I reached my nadir and spent the whole day dozing on the couch, with barely enough energy to get up and feed myself and go to the bathroom.

Thankfully I was well enough by Sunday to go to the hair salon, where Kelly did a fairly subtle (for me) auburn red color around my rear hairline. So you can see the red peeking out behind my ears when my hair is down, but when I clip it up it looks like the crown of plumage on a phoenix, a blaze of orangey brownish red.

I went straight from the salon down to the Kraine Theater to meet up with Katie M to see a Fringe Festival play, MMF (a reference to a male-male-female triad in poly terminology). The play was pretty good, well-acted and one of the more realistic portrayals of a poly situation. I wish it had a little more awareness of polyamory, but this was a scenario where people just fall into it without the education and support of a community. From that perspective, “The Three of Us,” the winning play in my playwright competition, was a far superior play because at least one of the characters actually understood what polyamory is and acted with intention. Those are the stories that will be far more interesting than the accidental threesome stories we’ve seen so far in the vast majority of drama.

After the play we had an early dinner at the Blue Ribbon Fried Chicken place and talked through our usual litany of updates and stories. She actually did most of the talking since my voice was still pretty raw.

Monday night I hosted Natalia and Matt for a screening of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,”the latest in our martial arts series Natalia and I have been doing. Tuesday I had a needed night off at home before Wednesday’s Poly Women’s Group at Sabrina’s place in Forest Hills, Queens, where we had several new members join.

Thursday night I was back in the outer boroughs in Crown Heights to have dinner with Piper, Gette and Elisa, who is visiting from Seattle. Piper made grilled chicken thighs with roasted parsnips and apple-onion compote. She also served a raspberry and mint cream semifreddo for dessert. It was the first time I’d seen their new place, and only the second time I’ve visited Crown Heights (Emily used to live there).

Today I worked from home so that I wouldn't take a chance on missing the Boston train because of my always unpredictable work commute, so I had some extra time to pack and get to Penn early. I’m also off all of next week and have many things planned with lots of people, so I’ll report on those next time.

Tori Tori Tori!

Sometimes it's hard being an activist, especially if you don't have a natural temperament for it.

Case in point: On Monday I was in the subway on my way to Poly Cocktails and it was a crowded rush-hour train. I was already running late because of a brush fire in the Meadowlands delayed trains by an hour. As we passed it by, a plume of flame about 30 feet high was burning right beside the track. Crazy.

Anyway, a woman was talking with a group of friends and leaning up against the pole in the subway car and holding onto it with her arm bent behind her back. Even a transplanted New Yorker like me knows this is a big no-no in NYC subway etiquette - it hogs the pole and keeps other people from grasping it comfortably. When one woman had to fully extend her arm above her head to hold the pole, I decided to take out my earbuds and say something.

Me: Excuse me, you might not be aware of this, but by leaning against the pole, you're causing this woman behind you to have to reach way up to hold the pole.

Her: (glances behind at the arm above her head) Oh, I'm holding the pole with my hand here, behind my back.

Me: Yes, but you're leaning against the pole and keeping other people from using it.

Her: Oh. It was more comfortable.

She continued to hold the pole the same way, but put about an inch between her hair and body and the pole, so it didn't make much difference. They got off at the next stop. I can't believe how inconsiderate and self-centered some people can be. But I'm glad that I said something, even though I wasn't the one directly affected.

Tuesday night I met up with Lori for dinner and the Tori Amos concert at the Beacon - it's the first concert I've seen since The Gloaming in June, and my first time back to the Beacon since that awesome Pet Shop Boys concert last year.

I'm not a huge fan of Tori's, but what I realized is that my favorite of her albums (The Beekeeper) is not a favorite among her core fans like Lori. And that's because The Beekeeper is the album I grew up with five or six years ago. I've heard her other albums (American Doll Posse, Scarlet's Walk, From the Choirgirl Hotel, and Under the Pink) and there are some songs that have stuck with me, but taken as a whole, I'm still a fan of The Beekeeper the most. I did buy a vinyl copy of her newest, Unrepentant Geraldines, along with a set of buttons from the merch stand. The women sitting next to us couldn't believe they still made vinyl records - they were amazed to see a real record, and impressed that I (still) owned a turntable!

As for the performance, I greatly admired her artistry as a seasoned performer, and the crowd was over-the-top in love with her. I thought it was kind of distracting, all the hollering over the music. Her music isn't heavy metal - it deserves to be listened to without interruptions. I'm afraid the highlight for me were her covers of George Michael's "Faith" and Chris Issak's "Wicked Game" (mashed up with "Blue Jeans" by Lana Del Ray) that she performed in the "Lizard Lounge" portion of the setlist. Still, I had a nice time with my dear friend, and we're going to try and plan something for the week I'm off work at the end of the month.

Katie's music mix #2

On Sunday I had some one-on-one time with Katie B for the first time in about four months. She got really sick for about three weeks over the summer which kept her from coming to my birthday celebrations, so it was wonderful to see her and catch up on things.

I made her a new mix CD, mostly of songs that I've played for her at my apartment over the past eight months, plus some other things that I've been listening to lately. It's the second mix I've made for her ("Katie's music mix" - Nov. 12, 2013).

Here's the track listing and a few thoughts about each one below.

1. Black is the Colour – Cara Dillon
2. Peel Me A Grape – Diana Krall
3. When Can I See You Again? – Owl City
4. Sleeps With Butterflies – Tori Amos
5. Pass In Time – Beth Orton
6. Dark In My Imagination – of Verona
7. Lightning Song – Anathema
8. This Girl’s in Love With You (live) – Ella Fitzgerald
9. Lovesong for a Vampire – Annie Lennox
10. Kryptonite – 3 Doors Down
11. Song 44 – The Gloaming
12. The Raven That Refused to Sing – Steven Wilson
13. Settling – Tara MacLean
14. The Rose – Amanda McBroom & Lincoln Mayorga
15. A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square – Harry Connick, Jr.
16. The Nearness of You – Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

1. I showed Katie this song from a DVD performance called "The Redcastle Sessions" where Dillon performs in a beautiful space with her band in Ireland. The song was originally made famous by Nina Simone, but where Simone changed the pronouns to male, Dillon performs it with female pronouns.

2. This song is from Krall's splendid "Love Scenes" album, which I have on SACD, a high-resolution audiophile digital format. Katie and I listened to the entire album together the night we saw our first Shotz together and after watching "Treasure of the Sierra Madre," and this is my favorite track. In fact, if you read my Amazon review of the album, it references that night.

3. Other than being from the soundtrack of my favorite Disney movie since Beauty and the Beast, the lyrics pretty much speak for themselves. I did quote this song once upon saying goodnight to her.

4. I played this song in our hotel room at Wicked Faire - it's from one of my all-time favorite albums, "The Beekeeper," and I'm going to see Tori in concert next week with Lori, so I'm excited about that!

5. The ambling waltz "Pass In Time" shares the advice the singer's mom gave on her deathbed. This duet with jazz singer Terry Callier spotlights Orton's cracked and pleading voice, calling Billie Holiday to mind.

6. I actually found this song for free on iTunes, and it's dark and pounding rhythm just made me think of Florence + the Machine's "Heavy In Your Arms" that Katie liked on my last mix.

7. Here's another song from Anathema's "Weather Systems" that showcases Lee Douglas' pure and sincere vocals. I have to say, I don't like their newest album, "Distant Satellites," quite as much.

8. I first found this four-song EP album "Sunshine of Your Love" untold years ago at Half-Price Books in Houston, and I've loved this song ever since. Lady Ella gives a powerful live performance, filled with dynamic emotion and precise jazz notes, backed by a full orchestra.

9. I wrote a bit about this song in a previous post - "Songs of Annie Lennox" - April 15, 2014

10. When we were at Wicked Faire waiting for Voltaire to perform, this song came on the PA and everyone in the room started singing along. It was one of those cool moments, like what happens at a rock concert, when everybody is in sync.

11. Sung in Gaelic, this is the first track from The Gloaming's self-titled CD that I saw performed in concert earlier this year. The song is so named because the lyrics come from a 500-year-old poem that was titled Number 44. Here's a Livestream of the concert (I'm in the front row on the right, wearing a polka-dot top) and it's the second song on the concert, at 23:19 timecode.

12. The story of this song is based on a fairy tale about a man asking a raven to bring his dead sister back to life. This is also one of the best-sounding DVD-Audio surround recordings I've ever heard, and Wilson is one of the industry's leading engineers in multi-channel sound.

13. This is an old song that Tara introduced me to on one of her old mixes, and I just thought it felt appropriate here.

14. Sung by the original songwriter McBroom and made famous by Bette Midler on the soundtrack of the movie of the same name, "The Rose" is from McBroom's album "Growing Up in Hollywood Town," one of my Sheffield Lab audiophile CDs that I played for Katie once.

15. This album, "We Are in Love," has been one of my sonic references since I used to sell stereos at Circuit City. The recording is so clean and lifelike; through a good system it sounds incredibly realistic. The song itself is an old one, and one that I fell in love with when it was used in an obscure 1986 movie called "Every Time We Say Goodbye," starring a very young Tom Hanks.

16. I wrote about this song in another recent post - "Songs and stories" - March 26, 2014