Free Love Letters 2014

Finally, we are entering the dark half of the year, my time for creativity and renewal when for many people the opposite is true. And for me, October is a special month for a number of reasons. It ends with pagan new year (Samhain) on Oct. 31 and time for the cycle of the year to start anew.

Looking back on my life, October is the month I most associate with love because I've actually met (officially) all my previous lovers in the month of October. And even though I'm not in a pair-bonded relationship now, nor am I looking to be anytime soon, I think love is something to be celebrated in all its forms, not just sexual or romantic love.

This year has been filled with love from my intentional family, my dearest friends, who give me the love and emotional support that I need in a life devoid of the usual sources for such support. It is perhaps by not being in a relationship or seeking one that nourishes such deep feelings and connections with my closest friends.

Three years ago I started a project to mark October as my own month dedicated to love. I came up with an idea after reading this article in the Wall Street Journal: "Stationery's New Followers" - Aug. 25, 2011

I wanted to do something to celebrate love that didn't have anything to do with a specific person. The idea of love is bigger than one relationship between two people - love is what binds us all together and the most powerful force for good we have in the world. This is why I'm an advocate of polyamory and helping people find new ways to experience love. I sincerely believe that if there's more love in the world, it will make the other problems we have easier to handle.

Also, I wanted to do something for the sake of art, without any other purpose or agenda beyond putting something beautiful out in the world. So each October, I write a personalized love letter to anyone who requests one by sending me their physical mailing address. Repeat requests from past participants are encouraged!

Everyone who gives me an address will get a letter - guaranteed - whether we've known each other a minute or a decade. Each love letter will be handwritten with liquid ink on cotton fiber paper (so as not to harm any trees) and sent via U.S. Mail - not by email, text, IM, Twitter or Facebook post. I'll even spring for international delivery for anyone overseas.

Your letter may be long or short, funny or sincere. It might be perfumed or decorated with a wax seal. It might recall some tiny, distant memory of our time together, or it might be five pages long if we have a history. It might be lyrics to a love song that reminds me of you. It could be a story I've always wanted to share with you, but never found the right moment to tell it.

But whatever it is, it will be honest, and it will be about you and me - and whatever is between us and how it relates to the experience of love. And for those moments it takes you to read it, you and I will share a personal and physical connection that is so rare in this fleeting digital world.

No response will be expected - the letter will be my gift to you, in honor of all the love that has found me in Octobers past. All letters and requests will be kept confidential on my end, but you're certainly welcome to share the experience publicly if you wish. And obviously, requests received after Oct. 31 will have to wait until next year.

Weekend wandering

I had an unexpectedly busy but lovely Saturday with my BFF Lori. I had posted on Facebook how unfortunate that last weekend there was so much going on that I missed because I was getting over my cold and this past weekend there’s nothing going on and I’m healthy, and Lori had the exact same situation. So we decided to meet up near the Met to visit an art gallery Saturday afternoon.

It turned out the gallery I wanted to go to was closed for renovations, so we visited the two galleries on either side of it, Skarstedt Fine Art and the Michelle Rosenfeld Gallery. At the latter, we saw a very interesting piece that is made from hand poured crayons mounted in a frame to create a Seurat-like image of colored dots.




We also went to La Maison du Chocolat for a taste of their very fine truffles and ganaches, then sat on a bench in Central Park to enjoy them and take pictures of ourselves. In mine you can see the new buttons on my coat.




I had to pick up my prescriptions, so we killed some time near my old offices at Agent K, picking up a grilled cheese sandwich at the Melt Shop and shopping at the Barnes & Noble. I got a few DVDs, including the BBC's Sherlock, the first two seasons of The Guild, and a documentary on Andy Goldsworthy called Rivers & Tides.



Lori invited me to come with her to her friend Andrew’s birthday, whom I’d met at her birthday earlier this year ("Seventh birthday" - July 19, 2011). We met at the New Malaysian Restaurant in a hard-to-find Chinatown alleyway, along with several other friends to enjoy a family-style dinner that included some of the best Malaysian spare ribs I’ve ever had.



They also served a Hainanese chicken dish which was almost exactly like my mom’s cooking, except her dipping sauce was much more potent. In fact, almost everything we ordered was super-tasty and satisfying.



I met one of Lori’s friends Jenny, a Korean girl from Australia (such a cute accent!). She, Andrew, Lori and I went to the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory for dessert.



I ended the night by taking a solo visit to Rockefeller Center and taking some pictures of the tree.



On Sunday I had a much more domestic day. I went to the gym for the first time in a while and did some more grocery shopping. I baked my brownies for Poly Cocktails Monday night (it was a potluck for the first time in a while), plus made a huge bowl of my peanut noodles for this week. That left me with a lot of dishes to clean up, but I still had time to finish my Lord of the Rings cycle on Blu Ray that I started a couple weeks ago.

Monday’s Poly Cocktails was a big success, and as usual lots of House PNJ people showed up in varying degrees of sartorial splendor.

Free love letters

For me, October is a special month for a number of reasons. It's pagan new year (Samhain) on Oct. 31 and time for the cycle of the year to start anew. The weather is usually as perfect as it gets, and I love the smell of fall.

But most of all, I've come to realize that October is the month I most associate with my loved ones - past and present. I was first introduced to Puck on Oct. 4, 2008 at the Poly Pride Rally in Central Park. I first met Bonnie (and Hiba) on Oct. 20, 2009 at the monthly Poly Women's Group at the Westside YMCA. And the first time I met Tara, Buffy and Bug (my erstwhile family) in person was Oct. 14, 2005 at the Metropolitan Museum any in Wayne, NJ.

Coincidence? Maybe. But I wouldn't be surprised if I met someone new (or something happens with a person who is already in my life) this month that turns out to be the start of a new relationship.

Puck and I have our own traditions for celebrating our anniversary (our third this year) but I wanted to do something new to mark October as my own month dedicated to love. As you can see from this blog I am a pretty prolific writer, so I came up with an idea after reading this article in the Wall Street Journal: "Stationery's New Followers" - Aug. 25, 2011

I wanted to do something to celebrate love that didn't have anything to do with a specific person, like Puck for example. The idea of love is bigger than one relationship between two people - love is what binds us all together and the most powerful force for good we have in the world.

As longtime readers know, I'm also searching for my artistic path and I wanted to do something for the sake of art, without any other purpose or agenda beyond putting something beautiful out in the world. And since I'm lacking skills in the musical and visual arts, I don't think I can produce anything authentic in the areas of music, dance, sculpture, painting, etc.

My one skill that I've honed over my entire lifetime is my writing. It is my livelihood and occasionally has been used in the service of love, but rarely for art. I'm not a poet, although I've written a few poems in my life; none recently.

So here's my idea: for the month of October, I'm going to write a personalized love letter to anyone who requests one by sending me their mailing address. Everyone who gives me an address will get a letter - guaranteed - whether we've known each other a minute or a decade. Each love letter will be handwritten with liquid ink on cotton fiber paper (so as not to harm any trees) and sent via U.S. Mail - not by email, text, IM, Twitter or Facebook post. I'll even spring for international delivery for anyone overseas.

Your letter may be long or short, funny or sincere. It might be perfumed or decorated with a wax seal. It might recall some tiny, distant memory of our time together, or it might be five pages long if we have a history. It might be lyrics to a love song that reminds me of you. It could be a story I've always wanted to share with you, but never found the right moment to tell it.

But whatever it is, it will be honest, and it will be about you and me - and whatever is between us and how it relates to the experience of love. And for those moments it takes you to read it, you and I will share a personal and physical connection that is so rare in this fleeting digital world.

No response will be expected - the letter will be my gift to you, in honor of all the love that has found me in Octobers past. And obviously, requests received after Oct. 31 will have to wait until next year.