Governor terminated

I'm sure some of you are following the Eliot Spitzer sex scandal case - he announced his resignation today in the New York Times:

"Spitzer Resigns, Citing Personal Failings" - March 12, 2008

I'm following this case closely, not because of prurient interest, but because one of my clients is a central figure in the sordid saga (I can't say who, but if you're familiar with the story, you would know the person immediately). What really strikes me about the story above is that Spitzer used the name of a close friend as an alias when he checked into the hotel for his tryst with a prostitute named Kristin (who charges $1,000 an hour, by the way). I mean, what kind of a moron does that?? Why wouldn't you use a completely made up name, or at least the name of an enemy, like political rival Joseph Bruno (NY Senate majority leader) for example? Not Spitzer - he has to drag one of his few allies into the muck with him. Nice guy, right?

Pictures!

As promised, here's a picture of the Passaic Falls in Paterson from Sunday's outing. Pretty impressive, huh?



And here is one of my recent favorites at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a painting titled "The Lovers" by Marc Chagall.



The Rockets have won 19 straight games, one away from tying the second longest winning streak in NBA history. This is getting exciting!

Blizzards and waterfalls

What a crazy weekend it was - and so different than how I had planned to spend it. I suppose that speaks to the futility of planning.

Since this weekend I was going to be in Ohio, we decided to move our usual Saturday movie night up to Friday, so we had a nice dinner and finished our Star Wars trilogy with Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. I had booked a car service to the airport at 6:15 a.m., and I was up until almost 3 a.m. making last-minute preparations, so I only got a couple hours of sleep, figuring I would sleep on the plane.

I got to the airport in plenty of time to check in and get through security, and even get some breakfast. After eating, I'm walking toward the gate when I hear over the intercom that my flight to Columbus has been cancelled due to weather. I immediately turn around and head over to the customer service desk, and it turns out they are having a blizzard in Ohio, and no planes are landing in Columbus for the remainder of the day. The best they can do is get me on a flight tomorrow, which is pointless because the wedding was supposed to be Saturday. So I cancel the ticket and go sit in the Borders bookstore to make phone calls to cancel the rest of my itinerary and make sure my rewards account is being credited.

Since it's so early in the morning my family is still sleeping by the time I'm ready to leave, so I get a taxi home and crash for a few hours. In the afternoon I run my usual errands in town and then join my family on a trip to a store called National Liquidation Distributors, a closeout outlet store halfway between home and the city. I bought a cordless phone and some Mediterranean food in cans, like eggplant dip, hot lime relish and stuffed grape leaves. Tara and Bug found a facsimile of a long-discontinued cookie from their childhood.

I was planning to go home straight afterwards because I was still feeling the effects of my sleep cycle being so off, but Bee asked me to hang out that evening, alluding that she had things to share with me. She and I spent the evening assembling some bookshelves and talking about our relationship and the ups and downs we've been through in the past year while Tara shelved books in the next room and listened without participating in the talk.

Both Bee and I have had epiphanies of sorts recently. Mine occurred about six weeks ago that has drastically changed my relationship with Tara, and probably influenced her change of heart from last week. Saturday night we took the first tentative step toward developing a more honest friendship between us, and creating happier and healthier relationships with Tara.

After our talk, Bee went downstairs to do her yoga and get ready for bed, and Tara and I had a good talk as well about our relationship and where we see things going. We are still trying to figure out each other's comfort level in meeting each other's needs, and the limitations of our relationship due to circumstances continue to bother me. But I'm trying to make the best of things while recognizing that I have to be responsible for my own happiness and not rely on other people to change their lives to accommodate me.

After raining most of Friday and Saturday, Sunday dawned clear, bright and very windy, so we decided to have an outing to the Passaic River Falls in Paterson. Paterson is only about five minutes drive from my family's house, but it's a whole different world of urban decay and blight. Yet in the midst of the ghetto, there is a natural wonder - a waterfall that drops about eight stories in height among sheer rock cliffs, sending up a spray that creates rainbows on sunny days. There's a bridge across the length of the falls so you can get a really close look, especially if you don't mind getting wet. I'll post pictures tomorrow since I forgot to download them last night.

After this short trip, I went to Costco for some groceries, and to Target to return some shirts I'd bought Friday that don't fit right. The rest of the evening I stayed home and unpacked my suitcase and did several loads of laundry while watching episodes of Iron Chef America, Transamerican Love Story and Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles that I have on my DVR. I also found out that Joanna had to postpone her wedding until Sunday because the groom couldn't make it to the church in the snow. It sounds like she had to endure a much more chaotic weekend than mine, unfortunately.

Molested on the train

I got my hair colored last night. It's kind of a goth-y red that streaks through my natural black and actually quite subtle compared to the first time I did it, probably because my highlights are grown out. It's flashy enough for me though. Maybe I'll get around to taking some pictures of myself - it's been a while since I've posted any.

I also did some grocery shopping last night with my friend Lori at the organic food store. I got a bar of French-milled lavender soap for the bathroom, a bag of malt vinegar and salt potato chips, and a jar of sea salt to use with my neti pot.

I had a weird experience on the train this morning, maybe because I'm wearing men's cologne today (Cerruti 1881), and wouldn't you know, I think I got molested. It was crowded, so there was a big guy sitting in the middle seat next to me. I had my sunglasses on so I could doze, but I noticed that this guy seemed to be expanding and taking up more and more room as the trip went on. So since I didn't feel like I had to cede the space, we were pretty much pressed up against each other, which wasn't very pleasant because he was wearing a leather jacket which was cold from being outside.

Then as we were arriving at Penn Station in New York, his hand was on his thigh, and he let a couple fingers slide over to touch my leg - ewwww! I tried to shift around as much as I could, but there's not much room to go anywhere since I always sit by the window. I'm wearing a short skirt with patterned black tights, so maybe he just found them irresistible. Or it must be something about women wearing men's cologne that drives some people wild :P

Monday night I made my chili, and Tara came over for our regular Monday night date when Bee goes to yoga class. She wasn't in the mood for any of the "spiritually uplifting" movies I wanted to see, so we settled on our old favorite, Major League, to celebrate the start of baseball spring training. After some really great sex, we talked for a long time, and I shared some of my hopes and dreams for our family's future. I'd had some weird energy all day, and it did spill over when we were saying goodbye, but at the end we were able to work through it. Thank you, love.

Nice weekend

This weekend was probably one of the best I've had in a while, maybe so far in 2008. And I didn't even get to have sex with anyone.

Friday night after work I took a train to Macy's in Herald Square on 34th Street and Broadway to buy a Philips DVD Micro Theater Audio System from J&R Express in the basement. It's on sale for $99 ($150 off the regular price) so I wanted to replace the piecemeal setup I had in my bedroom. The only inconvenience was carrying the heavy box from the store two blocks to Penn Station and getting it on the train home. But I set it up and it sounds/looks great.

Saturday I ran my usual errands and went to my local Macy's in New Jersey to return a black charmeuse blouse I'd bought the week before because it's too small. I actually found the right size in red, but even though I thought it was very pretty, red is not a color I can wear too often. It looks good on me, but it's so bright that it looked like I was going to a holiday party. As much as I deride black sometimes, it is a very versatile color for both work and play. Perhaps it is that absence of color that keeps us from ascribing inappropriate or inaccurate meanings to the clothes we wear. I would have liked to find the same blouse in silver grey. And I did actually find some Alfani tops on the 80% off rack that were lovely - one was a turquoise silk top and the other was a metallic turtleneck top, both under $15, and then another top in deep purple that's a 3/4 length sleeve knit top with criss-cross fabric at the bust. And, to top it off, I found my clutch in a navy satin that goes with the skirt I'm wearing for the wedding on Saturday, so it was a very productive shopping trip.

Saturday night we had our usual family dinner and a movie night when we started a Star Wars trilogy with Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. I accidentally left the stove on and burned up a pot of my fried rice, which meant we had to air things out for a bit before starting the movie. Luckily, the smell didn't linger and no real damage was done. Bee started nodding off halfway through the movie, so she fell asleep on my bed while Tara, Bug and I finished the movie and watched actress Ellen Page host SNL.

Sunday we all went out for a museum trip, but first I wanted to do a dry run to Newark airport, since I'd never driven there before and I don't want to get lost next weekend and miss my flight. I was horrified to find out how much it costs to park a car at the airport, even for long-term parking! Now I'm trying to figure out what my transportation alternatives are for next Saturday.

We got to the Met museum around 1 pm and spent the rest of the afternoon looking at the special exhibits by Poussin, Corbet, and Jasper Johns, plus revisiting our old friends in the European and Modern wings. Plus we also saw a wonderful fashion exhibit called blog.mode: addressing fashion that featured work from well-known designers like Christian Dior, Coco Chanel and Donna Karan.

I dropped the girls off at their house afterwards so they would take care of some errands while I did my workout, showered and started cooking dinner. Then a couple hours later we were back at my place eating dinner (without the stove fire, thankfully) and watching Episode II: Attack of the Clones. We had such a good time dissecting George Lucas' screenwriting shortcomings when it comes to writing love scenes, and there was many a groan and chuckle during the movie when Anakin or Padme would say some saccharine cliche that sounded like it was lifted from a trashy romance novel. There's probably a drinking game based around that aspect of the movie.

I also got a call from my apartment manager, and apparently she's interested in buying back the living room set that I'm trying to sell so I can get a new one. She's probably looked at it already today, but I haven't heard back. Hopefully I can sell it quickly and find something more suitable for me.

So why was it such a nice weekend? Because I got to spend so much quality time with my family, and it reminded me of the magical time last summer when we became a real poly family (i.e. without secrets or hiding). Perhaps this weekend is something we can build upon - only time will tell.

Give a massage today!

I'm feeling pretty lethargic from our monthly staff lunch today, in lieu of our weekly bagel Fridays. We had crispy tacos catered in, and I think I exceeded my limit slightly (I ate three). New York actually makes great guacamole, but you'll have a hard time finding a jalapeno pepper around here, outside of Bobby Flay's restaurants. Still, it was a nice reminder of the good Tex-Mex I miss from Houston.

I am massively disappointed that my neighbor has slapped a security code on their wi-fi, which means I can't mooch off them anymore and now I have to pay for the service to be installed. This happened to Agnieszka too recently. I suppose it's a sign of all the distrust and suspicion in the world today that you can't leave your Internet access free to the public anymore.

A couple months ago I was giving Bee a back massage using her favorite lavender oil I got for her at The Body Shop, and I noticed some moles on her back that I hadn't seen before. I told her she should see a dermotologist, so she made an appointment. The ones on her back were fine, but they checked out the rest of her and found one on her hip that just came back as potential trouble.

So here's what I want everyone to do - go to your loved ones and offer them a back massage. It doesn't have to be an erotic or sensual massage, just the experience of touch and a quick check for any suspicious looking moles. While you're checking their back, ask them to check themselves the next time they bathe. It's a nice way to express your love for someone - the instant gratification of a massage, plus the long-term health benefit of checking for skin cancer. And if your situation allows, go ahead and check them for breast cancer too :P

I've been thinking a lot about love, and the future, and my family situation. Tara and I had a long talk about it last night before watching The Thomas Crown Affair (which we discovered that they filmed most of the museum scenes in the New York Public Library where we saw the Jack Kerouac exhibit). While it is true that I try to live in the present as much as possible, I also want many things in this life that require some planning - to buy a house, to travel overseas, to build a polyamorous family - or they will never happen on their own.

Of course love cannot be planned, so part of this means figuring out what my family and I want to do with the love we have - how we are going to express it, what it means to each of us, what we're willing to do to nurture it, and what we want it to grow into. These are questions that are pretty simple for a conventional couple - fall in love, get married, live together, start a family, live happily ever after. For my family, there are a lot more options on what to do that we all have to figure out without the aid of fairy tales and archetypes to guide us. And while the path we take may not be the shortest or most well-trodden one, I'm hoping that we'll all still end up in the land of happily ever after.

Hard Candy

Last Friday's snow turned out to be a non-issue going home - in fact, I caught a later rush-hour train that seemed less crowded than usual - probably because a lot of people couldn't shovel their cars out and chose to stay home that day. This is both the blessing and the curse of having a parking garage - as long as the roads are plowed, there's really no excuse not to go to work in the snow. The whole rest of my family - Bee, Tara and Bug - all either took or got the day off and stayed home together, since their driveway didn't get plowed until late in the afternoon. I'm sure snow is so much more fun when you're a child than when you're a grownup.

This weekend was very nice and peaceful. Saturday I met my family at the UPS Store because Bug needed to sign up for a mailbox for a publication she and Bee are starting. Then I went to the library and found the movie Hard Candy, which stars a then-18-year-old Ellen Page (Oscar-nominated star of Juno and also played Kitty Pryde in X-Men 3: The Last Stand) playing a 14-year-old girl who gets involved with a suspected pedophile/murderer. I watched the movie Sunday night, and I have to say it's probably one of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen, although David Lynch's Mulholland Drive still retains the top spot in that category. That said, I can see why Ms. Page was nominated for Juno (which I haven't seen yet). She is absolutely riveting in this performance, which was overlooked by many people due to the subject content. If you're up for a challenging movie, give Hard Candy a try - it's about as far from the mainstream as you can get in a local library or video store.

Saturday night we saw Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (which we all enjoyed) followed by Tina Fey's performance as host on Saturday Night Live, the first episode back from the writer's strike. With the exception of Carrie Underwood, it was loads of fun. Maybe we'll start watching that every week after our regular Saturday night dinner and movie.

Sunday Bee, Tara and I went out to the mall to do some shopping. I'm looking for a new couch to replace the ones I got after my last apartment fire, which came with the apartment. If I can find someone to buy my living room set, then I can get something that's more suitable for me, so I'm starting to look around for that. I also found some nice tops at Macy's where they were having a one-day sale, but couldn't find a clutch purse for the wedding in a couple of weeks. I don't shop at department stores much, but it seems they are worth checking out during sales. Bee had a gift card that she swapped me for cash, so that worked out nicely. Then Sunday night I watched the Rockets extend their winning streak to 12 games against the Chicago Bulls.

This week I'm planning to get my hair recolored red on Tuesday, maybe a little brighter than last time. Tonight I'm planning to watch the latest Resident Evil movie with Tara before I have to return it to the NYC library tomorrow. Also, on Tuesday the new 4-disc Criterion version of The Last Emperor comes out, so maybe we'll watch that on family night this weekend. Should be a pretty quiet week otherwise, as the month is winding down.

Week in review

I really should be working, but there's time for a quick update. Besides, how can anyone work during a snowstorm? We're supposed to have 5-6 inches of snow here today, maybe more. This morning I woke to the sounds of snowplows on my apartment driveway, and the drive to the train station was slow but not too scary. The trip home might be a different story, as it's really coming down heavily and is expected to continue all day and all night until about 1 a.m. tomorrow.

This past week has been a whirlwind of activity. Last Friday I did indeed take the day off to extend the Presidents Day holiday weekend. I went for my allergy shot, then did a little shopping before meeting up with my friend Agnieszka after she got home from work. We both didn't feel like going out, so we sat on her couch and talked for about six hours. Tara called at around midnight when we were wrapping up and offered to make me pancakes in the morning, so I stopped by the 24-hour grocery on the way home to buy some blueberries and whipped cream.

Saturday Tara and I had our pancake breakfast, and then went out shopping for a few home items. I'm looking for a cheval mirror for my bedroom so I can see an entire outfit at once - right now, I only have a dresser mirror that shows the upper half. I also needed to buy some new candles, having burned my last set down to a big messy puddle of wax. We found some of the candles at Pier 1, and I also got New Avengers: Illuminati at the Barnes & Noble. No luck on the mirror though, although we even visited a couple of furniture stores, which was interesting to say the least.

In the early evening, I decided to start my exercise program, so I got on the treadmill for 45 minutes, and did some weights for my back and abs. I also went out to Loehmann's to check out their holiday sale, as I'm still trying to decide what to wear to Joanna's wedding on March 8 in Ohio. I didn't find much in the way of clothes, but I did find the patchouli-scented candles I was looking for. I got back just in time to start dinner for our regular Saturday family night, when we finally completed Season One of Young Indiana Jones.

Sunday night we all watched the Fantastic Four movie and ate peaches, blueberries and M&Ms. We all agree that movie is much better than we were led to believe, and we're looking forward to seeing the sequel this weekend. Monday Tara and I went back to my old Residence Inn hotel and shot some baskets on their basketball court. It was the first time I'd played since I left the hotel almost two years ago. Then we came back to my place to shower and continue the cardiovascular workout before she had to go home for a few hours while I did some laundry and tidying up. In the evening we watched an old movie called Time After Time, which is about one of my favorite fictional characters, Jack the Ripper.

Tuesday night I met my friend Lori in the city and we went to a new library branch, a new Borders book store and an Indian supermarket. I bought some stuffed grape leaves, lime pickles and garlic relish, and I gave her the pickled garlic and jalapeno mix that I'd made for her.

Wednesday I went to my first PolyNYC group meeting at the LGBT Center downtown. It was a very large group, about 50-60 people of all kinds. I ran into a couple people I knew from the last cuddle party I went to, so it was nice reconnecting with them. The speaker was talking about deeper communication between poly partners, but I'll admit I didn't agree with most of what she was talking about. She also offended a few of the people in the room by saying that all women naturally send and receive communication simultaneously ("transceiving"), which a lot of people didn't get besides me. The best part was engaging in a silent meditation one-on-one with a partner, and seeing a mouse run across the floor in the background and trying not to break out laughing.

Last night I continued my workout program and cuddled with Tara a bit while watching the Rockets beat up on the Miami Heat. Still can't believe they traded Bonzi Wells to New Orleans for Bobby Jackson.

That's all for now - hopefully I won't have to sleep in my office tonight because of the snow.

A Valentine - with garlic

Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Just wanted to send some of the love in my heart out to the world.

For those interested, here is an excellent article in the Washington Post on polyamory, reporting from the recent Poly Living convention in Pennsylvania, sponsored by Loving More Magazine:

"Pairs with Spares" - Feb. 13, 2008"

I spent most of last evening peeling about six bulbs of garlic and packing the whole cloves into two jars, along with fresh sliced jalapeno peppers, oregano, black peppercorns and red pepper flakes. Then I filled each jar with white vinegar and distilled water, and added coarse sea salt. I sealed the tops with cellophane wrap and lids and put them in my refrigerator, and in about a week or so, I'll have some pickled garlic and peppers for a garnish. The large jar is for me, the smaller one for my friend Lori, who wanted to try it.

Tara came over as I was about halfway through my pickling, and we chatted while I finished up, although the smell got to her after a while. She's the only person I've ever known with such an aversion to garlic (who isn't a vampire, at least).

Afterwards we watched a little of the Rockets-Sacramento Kings basketball game, and listened to Porcupine Tree's Nil Recurring in surround sound during halftime and fooled around on the couch in the second half. Unfortunately, she had to leave, or else she could have seen the exciting finish to the game, where rookie Steve Novak hit a game-winning three-pointer with 2 seconds to spare, and the Rockets won by two.

I'm looking forward to seeing my friend Agnieszka tomorrow night - in fact, I'm thinking about taking tomorrow off just so I'm not too tired after work, as it's been a bit of a struggle this week to get out of bed. We'll see how I feel after lunch about it.

Throw vomit from the train

I must be some kind of a puke magnet, because for the second time I've had the misfortune of sitting next to someone on the train that had to vomit uncontrollably. This time was a little too close for comfort.

It was last Monday, and I had just caught my 5:45 p.m. rush hour train going from Penn Station out to New Jersey. Since I wasn't early enough to get a good seat, I had to squeeze on the long bench across from the lavatory. As the train started to move, I noticed a well-dressed man standing opposite from me, leaning up against the lavatory's sliding door. When the woman next to me got up to move to another seat, he took her seat next to me. He seemed really out of it, and also seemed to have a persistent case of the hiccups, which I could feel because we were squeezed up against each other. I put my earphones on and turned out for what was shaping up to be a long ride home.

I was dozing off when someone shook me awake - it was another man that had been standing next to the first guy. I took my earpiece out and he said, "you'd better stand up, this guy next to you is throwing up." I looked over and sure enough, the guy was passed out and vomiting up on himself. I immediately jumped up and checked myself - no vomit, thank goodness! I gathered my coat and purse from the overhead rack and moved as far away as I could, which was about two steps on a crowded train.

The second man tried to get the sick guy to get into the bathroom, but he was completely unresponsive (yet somehow still able to stay seated upright). Eventually, the vomit dribbled down his suit and tie and started pooling on the floor. We called for the conductor using the intercom, and he was also unable to get a response from the man. I think no one wanted to touch him, probably for legal reasons, or just to stay away from the puke.

Finally we reached the next stop and a policeman was called. By this time I got out of the train and walked a couple cars down and re-entered another car. I knew from my first experience with this situation that it would soon become unbearably stinky and it was better to move now than be stuck there. The policeman couldn't revive him, so they called EMS, who came and finally took him off the train. I don't know what they did to him, but I saw the guy walking down the platform being held up by EMS people on both sides as we were leaving the station.

Another thing about New York is that there needs to be a rule limiting the size of umbrella you can carry. It's raining here today, and I see skinny people holding these huge golf umbrellas that come close to poking your eye out when you're squeezed on a busy sidewalk or walking down a subway staircase. I think umbrellas should be limited to three times the diameter of your waistline. How's that for an incentive to gain weight?

I also learned last night that my nearby branch of the New York Public Library is closing at the end of May, which is a pity because that was the most convenient branch for me. But the selection of DVDs is much better at my local NJ library anyway. However, there's a Pooh-Bear exhibit that we want to see before they close it up.

I'm also excited about going to Springfield, Ohio in early March for my friend Joanna's wedding. I can't remember the last wedding I went to - I'm sure it was years ago. I still don't believe in the traditional concept of marriage, but it's nice to see other people celebrate their love. I'm hoping to see some of my friends there, but I don't know who was invited. Should be interesting meeting all these new people too that I've heard such interesting stories about from Jo.

On the subway escalator yesterday I was standing behind a girl. She was wearing a white coat and a white knit hat, and her hair was peeking out the sides, and it was the color of pink cotton candy. It was thick and straight, like handfuls of fresh-cut wheat. I wish I could have seen her face, but when we got to the train platform, she took off for the opposite end of the station than I was going. If that's the way her hair always looks, maybe I'll spot her again someday.

Tara and I celebrated Valentine's Day early on Monday with candlelight and incense, and a long red satin gown I've been saving for such an occasion. Go ahead, use your imagination...

The effect of cooking

Here is a surprisingly candid article about polyamory in this weekend's edition of the New York Times:

"An Open and Shut Marriage" - Feb. 3, 2008

It was a lovely weekend, and I celebrated Imbolc by giving my apartment a thorough cleaning. I've also committed to sign on for another year's lease, so I'll be here at least until March 2008. I'm hoping to buy a house somewhere by next year, depending on how things go. I've been interviewing for a new job at a consulting company, so who knows what will happen.

Saturday night we saw the U2 concert in 3-D at the IMAX theater, and it was amazing! They are one of my family's favorite bands, we are all agreed. While I still think the U2 Go Home concert in Ireland was better overall, the 3-D effects were very cool. You can read the review in the New York Times here - they say it a lot better than I could.

U2 3D movie review - Jan. 23, 2008

Sunday I cooked my first homemade curry - ever - and tested out my new rice cooker. While it wasn't made totally from scratch, I got pretty close to the curry that I grew up with that my mom used to make, which is pretty good since I never actually learned the recipie first-hand. It's basically onions, garlic, potatoes, chicken, curry sauce and spices, chicken stock and coconut milk.

My family came over to watch a movie and I made them their favorite vegetable dumplings, and we all had rice together. It was probably the most home-like feeling I've had since moving here. Cooking for my family makes me feel like a mom, but in a good way. It connects me to the countless moments that moms, grandmothers, aunts, and female cousins spent in their kitchens cooking, socializing and bonding that I mostly missed out on growing up.

Sexual harrassment dream

I dreamed last night that I was a victim of sexual harrassment at work. It didn't involve any real-life people or situations, so maybe it's a glimpse into the future. I was in unfamiliar surroundings, with unfamiliar people. I was getting things set up for a client meeting, bringing food in and that kind of thing.

One of the clients, a huge, 400-pound, sweaty man dressed in loose-fitting jeans and an oversize t-shirt (because that's all he could find that fit him), started coming on to me in the hallway when he caught me alone. He looked like the Kingpin, but without the white suit. He pinned me up against the wall and rubbed against me, and I could feel him through his jeans. I managed to brush him off gracefully and get away from him, but if that actually happened to me, I think I'd be too freaked out to handle it diplomatically.

Anyway....

Last night I watched one of my all-time favorite movies, El Cid, which I got this week in a gorgeous collector's box set. It's the first time in over a decade that the movie has been available in a digital format - the last time was a very expensive Criterion laserdisc version that I've seen but never owned. I used to check it out of the library on VHS, but this is the kind of movie that requires the best viewing experience possible.

Shot in 70mm panoramic, and featuring an inspired score by the legendary Miklos Rosa (who also did Ben-Hur and King of Kings), the high-resolution transfer looked absolutely gorgeous after years of seeing just the crappy VHS transfer. The restoration team did an incredible job on the picture, although the sound is still way subpar by modern standards. Still, it's the story that stands the test of time - romantic, powerful, sweeping yet intimate, there are so many memorable scenes leading up to the powerful, timeless ending. Plus, Sophia Loren looks smashing in black.

I've also just finished reading Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues which I checked out from the library. Very touching, sometimes funny and inspiring, often heartbreaking stuff. And what is with the apparent tradition of mothers slapping their daughters in the face when they get their periods??? Can someone explain that to me?

That bit about having periods reminded me of when my friend Pearl first got hers. She was so excited that she called me to let me know, and I came over and brought her flowers. I was happy for her, but a bit sad too because her growing up meant we were slowly growing apart. It happened the way it was supposed to, but the time that we were close is one of the few parts of my old life that I truly miss.

This weekend we're going to see the U2 IMAX movie on Saturday night, which I'm excited about. It's been a while since I've seen an IMAX, and the last one was at the American Museum of Natural History about dinosaurs. This one promises to be a lot more exciting. After all, what's more exciting than a rock concert by one of the most successful bands of all time?

Have a great weekend everyone!

Power concedes nothing without a struggle

This is a good quote, attached to the signature line of an editor at the New York Law Journal that I was emailing with today.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.

— Frederick Douglass, 1857

New glasses redux

Ah, the weekend. It seems even more welcome after a short week. This week has been pretty crazy for me, actually. On Wednesday I got thrown a job to put together a response for a request for qualifications for a climate change coalition. Luckily I was able to borrow from our unsuccessful bid for the ethanol coalition last year, but I still ended up staying until about 8 pm Wednesday, then just got it wrapped up at 5 pm right before the deadline on Thursday. Lucky too because I had planned to take Karina to get her hair cut at my salon in Chinatown, and I kept her waiting for about 10 minutes because I was late getting out of the office.

The upside to this week is that we got free pizza in the office on Wednesday, and Friday we had our monthly luncheon, free lasagna and salad in lieu of our usual morning muffins and bagels. Apparently it's Italians who run things around here, or that's the safest thing to order for everyone. Personally, I'd love to see some Mediterranean food or Vietnamese food ordered once in a while. Ethiopian is probably not good for big groups since you eat with your hands - you might catch something.

Anyway, I'm sure you all want to see my new glasses, so here's a shot I took this morning from my Web cam - these frames are by designer Michael Kors:



And I also got my old Anna Sui glasses back with my new prescription lenses:



Headed out to do my errands now - the vegetable dumplings were such a hit last time with my family that we're doing it again tonight. I think I'll make some for myself this time also, and maybe I'll make a red vinegar ginger sauce to go with it. Some fresh garlic would be nice too. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend!

P-Tree Grammy nomination

This is cool - Porcupine Tree has been nominated for a Grammy Award in Category 95 - Best Surround Sound Album for Fear of a Blank Planet (which I got for Christmas). Time to give that one a listen.

See full list of nominees here

I'm sure someday they will actually be performing at the Grammys, not that they need any of that kind of validation. But it's exciting as a fan to see people slowly come to recognize their talent.

Dating and broken screens

Ugh, back at work after a welcome three-day weekend. At least it's a short week.

I went on my first real date on Friday, the first since meeting Tara I suppose. Her name is Pam, and she's a 33-year-old lesbian living in Midtown. She works as a stage manager for theater productions, and she's getting her MFA in Brooklyn and working as an acting teacher for undergraduates. She's originally from Pittsburgh and has been here for about 10 years.

We went out to dinner at my favorite Ethiopian restaurant (well, the only one I've been to, thanks to Lori) and later got ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery nearby, despite the near-freezing temperatures outside. She seems like a nice person, although a bit reserved like me. I'm not sure there's much chemistry there, but I think we could be friends. It would be nice to have a friend in the theater business, if you know what I mean.

The rest of the weekend was nice and quiet, except for one major hiccup. My family was over Saturday night for our movie night, and I was retracting my theater screen when it came off its mounts and fell down, smashing the front of my 37-inch LCD TV. It still works, but the crack in the screen disabled about 15 percent of the total screen area in the bottom right corner. It's still watchable after you get used to ignoring the damaged area, but obviously I'd like to replace the TV someday. At least I still have the projector for movies, which is most important to me.

Also on Saturday, my new computer speakers came in the mail, and I hooked those up to my portable DVD player in the bedroom to have music at night. This weekend I spent a lot of time at Borders buying all kinds of music by Bryan Ferry, Roxy Music, Men at Work, Porcupine Tree, Death Cab for Cutie, Garbage, and Tara gave me some music from No-Man, which is P-Tree frontman Steven Wilson's side project. Plus, I also got the 25th anniversary edition of Purple Rain on DVD - I've been getting into a Prince vibe lately for some reason.

Sunday night everyone came over to my apartment so I could cook them some fried vegetarian dumplings I found at my local Chinese grocery store. I made myself some kim chee ramen with eggs. Afterwards we watched I Am Legend on my big screen, a SAG awards review DVD that a co-worker gave me. It was a little less scary than I thought it might be, but as I'm not good with horror elements to begin with, that was plenty. It was a very intense movie, and afterwards I felt like I'd just finished lifting weights or something. I had to watch some of Miyazaki's Spirited Away to settle myself. Bee did the same by watching another movie at home.

Last night Tara came over so I could give her a manicure while we listened to Roxy Music's Avalon in SACD surround sound. This has got to be one of the Top 10 best makeout albums ever, and it's a shame we wasted it doing nails....

Lesbian plays and shopping sprees

It's been a relatively quiet week, hence not much to blog about. I've been really busy at work too, dealing with a big internal project that resulted in a story that appeared on the BusinessWeek Web site.

I also went out with my friend Lori last Friday to see a Bare Bones production of a play called "She Like Girls" at the Lark Theatre. A Bare Bones production is like a final dress rehearsal in a large studio with minimal costumes, makeup and staging, performed in front of an audience of about 50 people. As you might guess, there were a large number of lesbian couples in the audience, and I'm sure many people probably thought we were one also, especially since Lori was kind enough to lend me her scarf when I had to remove my sweater.

I have in fact been slightly more active in the dating arena, but with not much to report. I had met a woman online last week and we were planning to meet on Saturday, but it didn't work out. I've decided that I'm just going to start meeting new people and developing friendships first, without the expectation that a relationship will follow. I think in a dating situation, it's harder to show someone the real me.

Sunday I took my family to the Brooklyn Art Museum, but we accidentally got on the tunnel instead of the bridge and got lost in Brooklyn. We explored the seedy waterfront area for a few dozen blocks before turning around and weaving our way back to Flatbush Avenue. Once there, we saw a nice exhibit of American watercolor landscape paintings, and the new feminist wing that recently opened. However, to our disappointment, most of the museum was closed for renovation, but at least we got to see the watercolors before they left. I also picked up a Degas calendar for my bedroom at the gift shop.

Tuesday night we all went to our local Borders, which is having a going-out-of-business sale to make room for a bigger parking lot. Everything in the store was 40% off, plus I had a 10% off member coupon. Some things, like the chai in the cafe, was 75% off, so we stocked up on that. I mostly got DVDs of old movies: collector's editions of Silence of the Lambs and Con Air, Outbreak, and the remakes of The Thomas Crown Affair and The Count of Monte Cristo. I also got a Sherlock Holmes collection and Marvel Comic's Ultimate Galactus Trilogy in hardcover, since I do love stories of that ilk (although I haven't seen Fantastic Four 2 yet). I leave you with this art from my friend Joanna's site - the end is near!

Kissing with raw egg yolks

Movie fan that I am, I came across this article in the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal ("Kissing and Telling" - January 5-6, 2008) reviewing a book about memorable kisses committed to celluloid in the history of Hollywood. Think Scarlett and Rhett, Rick and Ilsa, Rocky and Adrian - you get the picture. However, there's no mention in the story about any gay portrayals or any from animated films, although clearly the focus is on older, iconic movies rather than a balance of classic and modern films.

For me, I'm always glad to see one of my favorite cult movies so prominently featured in the mainstream press:

The most conspicuous omission for me -- though inconspicuous, too, since the film remains relatively unknown to American audiences -- is an intensely erotic and brilliantly comic egg-in-your-face kiss in "Tampopo," the 1986 Japanese-language comedy by Juzo Itami. "Tampopo" is the funniest film ever made about food and sex (and film genres), and the payoff of a scene in a fancy hotel room is a 45-second kiss during which a Yakuza smoothie and his girlfriend pass a raw egg yolk from mouth to mouth -- seven times before the yolk breaks. It's a foodie's dream of heavenly bliss.

If you're a fan of food, sex or Japanese comedy, you owe it to yourself to check out this film (if you can find it). If you're not a fan of any of the above, then go back to whatever planet you came from and stop reading my blog!

First peek at new glasses

For those of you who haven't seen them yet, here's a shot of my new Valentino glasses, which will be the first and last time you'll likely see a photo of them:



This was taken during my sick day, so this is what I look like when I roll out of bed in the morning, more or less. I set up my web cam for the first time since moving to New Jersey, practically, to take this shot.

The reason why you're not going to see these glasses anymore is that they don't fit me right, and Costco can't seem to get them adjusted properly. Apparently, the lenses are too large for the frame to handle. So on Saturday I went to Costco and exchanged these for another pair of reddish colored glasses, plus got my old Anna Sui frames refitted with my new prescription as a backup. I should have both pairs of glasses in a couple weeks.

Today my family and I went out to dinner at Harold's deli in Woodbridge, where I had my first beef tongue sandwich, along with their legendary pickle bar. It was very tasty, actually, like pastrami that melts in your mouth *licks lips*.

Sick day

I can't remember the last time I took a sick day, but I'm taking one today. I started feeling like I was coming down with a cold yesterday at work, so I left early. The receptionist said a large number of people at work were doing the same thing, so there's a bug going around the office.

So I feel pretty miserable, but at least I'm getting a lot of rest. Plus today I made a pretty decent fried rice out of my leftover General Tso's chicken from New Year's Day. I sauteed some garlic and onions, then added scrambled eggs, soy sauce and some Indian garlic relish for a little curry spice flavor.

Okay, back to the couch for me, continuing to break in my new center channel speaker, a Definitive Technologies StudioMonitor 450 I received in the mail yesterday.

2007 in hindsight

It's now officially New Year's Eve, and as is my custom on this blog, it's time for a year-end recap. It seems every year these recaps read like high drama, and this year is not much different. As the famous fortune cookie says, I seem to live in interesting times, which definitely gives me mixed feelings.

So obviously the big event this year was my surgery on January 8, which impacted many things for the entire rest of the year. I was out of work and mostly housebound for six weeks, and then dealt with some pretty major physical discomfort for about six months after that. I also had some related skin ailments that required treatment by a dermatologist, plus I started a regime of allergy shots in October. So in a sense, it's been a year of healing for me, physically speaking.

The surgery impacted my work life because I took most of my paid time off at the beginning of the year, meaning I had very little time off after February. Fortunately for me, I suffered no major illnesses this year that would have required me to take unpaid leave. However, I did have a second fire in my life that completely destroyed my apartment, just as I was starting to get comfortable there.

While most of my smaller possessions, like books, DVDs, clothes, kitchenware, bathroom stuff and most importantly my three stuffed animals survived (since the apartment was not so much damaged by fire as by smoke, water and the roof collapsing), the larger items did not. I lost my new bed, a new Dell computer that I'd only had a week, my 50-inch plasma TV, my $1,200 Yamaha receiver and several home theater components, a new recliner and my old sofa, and countless other things. All the electronics and most of the furniture I lost were less than six months old, which was really tragic because I didn't have insurance (now I do).

It was during this time period in the early part of the year that the most significant change (other than surgery) occurred with my personal relationships. It was a time that saw some of the highest highs and the lowest lows in my relations with my new family. It was also a time when I started to open myself up to meeting new people, both as potential romantic partners and platonic friends, the most lasting being my friend Agnieszka who lives about a half-hour away from me.

From Memorial Day until the Fourth of July, I explored a polyamorous relationship, and while it didn't work out for everybody, it introduced me to the concept that I am continuing to explore on my own. There is a lot about polyamory that appeals and makes sense to me, but it's a pretty academic exercise unless I get out there and start meeting more like-minded people.

I've also had my share of entertainment this year, as any of my readers know. I've seen two operas, several rock concerts (including my all-time favorite band, the Police, and Porcupine Tree twice), Rent on Broadway and added several museums to my resume (the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum, the Princeton Museum, the Montclair Museum, the Brooklyn Museum, the New York Historical Society) in addition to several visits to our beloved Met and American Museum of Natural History. Here is a picture of the Temple of Dendur at the Met that I took with my phone camera several months ago that I was recently able to put on my computer desktop, just because I think the lighting is so cool:



The latter part of the year from about Labor Day on settled into mostly a nice groove. I started my South Beach Diet again and lost some weight, although I've been allowing it to slowly creep back lately. I took an acting class in the middle months of the year that I enjoyed for a period of time. I met a couple new friends, Lori and Karina, who I hope to grow closer to in 2008 and beyond. I had a quiet reunion with the other Agnieszka from my past in November, whom I hadn't seen in 17 years. I've worked hard to rebuild my apartment, my home theater, and my media libraries from the fire in March.

As I enter the secular new year, the only significant thing happening is that I'm interviewing with a new PR firm for a job. I had four interviews this past Thursday, and although I don't think they are in any hurry to make a decision, I do feel that I'm still a viable candidate for the position. I'm not really looking to leave my company, but more money is always welcome to offset the expenses of living in this area. Whether I get a new job or stay with my old one, at least with the start of 2008 I will have my full complement of paid time off to take some breaks throughout the year, something I sorely missed last year.

How do I sum up 2007? A roller coaster ride, a phrase I used in earlier blog entries to describe the events of this summer with my family, and to a lesser extent with work and fallout from my second house fire in less than two years. It almost seems as soon as I've turned a corner and I expect life to start settling into a groove, things get all wacky again.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, and what I want out of it. This year has definitely been another one of tremendous growth and change for me - perhaps not to the scale of the preceding two years, but necessary as a result of the groundwork laid before. As I enter 2008, it occurs to me that the road I've traveled for the past three years will begin to vanish, and I must now chart my own course without doctors, caretakers or other preordained signposts to guide me. The time has come for me to follow my own counsel on where life takes me, and take responsibility for my own happiness. Goddess grant me the wisdom and courage to take the right path.

Happy New Year everybody - may your future be full of light and joy. Thank you for reading.

Michelle

Really big Christmas trees

It's been a good long while since I've updated, mostly because it's been busy at work and consequently I haven't had much surplus energy to devote to other things. My apartment really took the brunt of it, what with between my lethargy and Christmas shopping it was becoming most untidy. Basically I've been putting things off until last Friday, the start of my vacation week. My company was most generous in closing the office from Dec. 24 until January 2, and I took my final remaining personal day on Friday the 21st, so now I'm on the third of 12 straight days off, which is about the only significant time off I've had since July 4 week.

So last weekend we took a trip to the American Museum of Natural History to see a new exhibit about water, and the butterfly exhibit. They also had a marvelous Christmas tree in the lobby, decorated entirely with origami figures, some of the most ornate and complex figures I've ever seen. The main piece was a 20-foot-long dragon wrapped around the tree made from hundreds of interlocking pieces. The top was decorated by several hanging stars and other figures on a slowly rotating spindle.



Here's a closeup of what looks like a paper hedgehog, for you Sega fans out there:



Here's another shot of one of the many butterflies we saw in the sauna-like Butterfly Conservatory:



The last week of work was not only busy from actual work, but also personal errands I wanted to get done while I was in the city. Tuesday I got my hair re-colored because the red had washed out pretty quickly. Then on Thursday I got my first haircut in over a year at a salon in Chinatown a friend at work recommended. The stylist's name is Edison, and he's a really young, cool, hip guy from Taiwan. He gave me some long layers around my face, and some long bangs that hang over my forehead, which is a first for me since I was a kid. It's going to take a while before I get used to it.

Friday Tara and I went into the city and visited the New York Public Library's special exhibit on Jack Kerouac, which included a 25-foot-long section of the original "On the Road" scroll. Afterwards, we visited the Museum of Modern Art, and explored the top three floors, including a special exhibit on the drawings of Georges Seurat. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera, so no pictures from that trip :( After dropping off Tara, I went out again to see Sweeny Todd with Agnieszka (her choice) which was stylistic and inventive, although a bit overly gruesome. I found out that she has a lot higher tolerance for gore than I do. Afterwards we went to dinner at Chevy's, a local Tex-Mex place.

Then yesterday we all went to Rockefeller Center for our traditional annual visit to the Christmas tree, St. Patrick's Cathedral and to see the lightshow at Saks on Fifth Avenue.





There was also a cool public charity project called the Common Sense Penny Harvest that collected pennies from schoolchildren all over the city and laid them out in one of the empty pools in Rockefeller Plaza. We threw our pennies in to the millions of coins collected for the cause.



Today I finished wrapping all my presents for tomorrow's celebration with my family, and otherwise it's been a very quiet day at home. I'm just getting used to relaxing before I start doing some of the stuff I've been saving until I have more free time.

I hope all of my readers are having a peaceful and happy holiday season!

Christmas museum crawl

I didn't get much sleep last night because I was waiting for my sheets to dry, and then I had to get up early for a client call from the Netherlands that I have to take in the office because I don't have a home phone and my cell phone doesn't include an international calling plan. So I got about four hours of sleep last night, which isn't a lot of fun, but fortunately it was a pretty relaxing weekend otherwise.

Before I get into that, I did want to say that I got a call back on the job interview I went to last week. They want me to talk to some more people and go a little further in the process. I'll probably try to schedule this for Christmas week if I can, so I don't have to deal with being away from work and making excuses for dressing up. After New Year's, I'll have plenty of time off I can take for further interviews if necessary.

Also, an update on my hair. Most of the really bright red has washed out by now, leaving a much more subdued shade of reddish brown with rust colored highlights. It actually looks pretty conservative now, compared with the crazy wild look it had when the color was fresh. I'm kinda disappointed the color didn't last very long, but I still get compliments on my hair all the time around the office. Here's a picture of it from yesterday's visit to the Cloisters:



Saturday I spent the morning watching Heroes on a library DVD - I'm really starting to like that show after the first six episodes. Bug and Tara came over in the afternoon and we watched the first episode of Tin Man on the Sci-Fi Channel that I had recorded on my DVR. Then Bee came over after she got off work and took a shower at my place before we started talking about plans for Sunday. This turned into a bigger discussion than first intended, which was cut short when Bee started having chest pains and we took her to the emergency room to get checked out. Fortunately, it turned out to be nothing more than a case of heartburn, but the experience put an appropriate cap on a rather long evening.

Sunday I got up early to shop a Christmas sale at Loheman's, where I bought a purse, a sweater, some yoga pants and a few pairs of earrings. Everybody came over at 12:30 and we drove into the city for a museum crawl that included the Cloisters and the Met, where we wanted to see the Christmas decorations. At the Cloisters, they hang handmade wreaths over the arches in the entry hall, and weave stalks of wheat into a decorative bundle.





They also have pots of planted paperwhites all around the courtyards, tied with lattices made of vines.



I discovered a new tryptich of the annunciation that I really liked because of the vibrant color of the oil on wood painting. Here's a photo of the entire panel, and a detail of the center section:




We drove down to the Met and walked through the newly-opened Oceania exhibit, then the new European decorative arts rooms before finally seeing the Christmas tree in the medieval hall:



We spent the bulk of time in the newly re-opened 19th and early 20th century European painting gallery, which include many of my favorites from Degas, Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and Sargent. Here you can see Sargent's popular work, Madame X, on the far wall in the distance.



And then after that the museum was closing and we were abruptly shuttled out. The rest of the evening I made stuffed mushrooms for dinner (yummy, and all vegetarian to boot) and watched the Rockets get stomped by Toronto while doing laundry and dishes.

Just 8 1/2 days until Christmas vacation. It can't get here fast enough.

Job interview

I had a job interview this morning with another large PR firm that called me out of the blue last week and said they wanted to meet me. I'm not particularly job hunting, but I'm certainly open to new opportunities, especially if they want to pay me more money. I always feel like I'm paid a bit below my market value because when I got this current job, it was my first job in New York, and there's always skepticism that some people can't handle this city. I guess that's why they say if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere. And this city certainly has it challenges, but I feel after 18 months I've proven it to myself and everybody else that I'm here to stay.

The interview went well, as they usually do when you already have a job - takes a lot of the pressure off. The office is located smack in the middle of Times Square, so if I'm working there by New Year's Eve, I'll have a great view of the ball dropping party. Luckily it's 20-something stories up, so you don't hear the noise. Their lobby is a lot nicer than ours, as it actually has windows that show something interesting, whereas our lobby's window faces another office tower in Midtown. Since it's just the first interview, I'm certainly not packing up my office yet, but I think it would be fun to get familiar with another part of the city, especially since it's so centrally located.

Today is my company's holiday party, which covered the fact that I'm wearing my new black suit and dressy flats for the interview. Like many companies these days, we're having it during working hours starting at 2 p.m. at a nearby Mexican restaurant. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the fact that we're getting time out of the workday to socialize, rather than having it after-hours like last year where I have to give up "my" time. Like I said, I'm not unhappy with my current company - it's a great company - but money talks, and the work lately has been a little dull, so speak the truth.

Speaking of how great my company is, we received the new revisions to the employee handbook yesterday, and sure enough, gender identity has been added to the list of non-discriminatory classes - huzzah! For new readers, this has been a personal quest of mine to get this changed (it wasn't included last year) and I'm pleased to say we're one less Fortune 100 company that allows job discrimination based on gender identity. Another tiny step toward an inclusive ENDA...

Tuesday night I visited the library in New York and found a Dave Grusin CD of Gershwin music that I owned a long time ago, which was a nice find. Afterwards, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a while and we had a great time laughing about interior design in the 1970s (don't ask me how we got on that topic). Afterwards I rushed off to Borders to use a coupon on a Christmas present, even though we haven't circulated our lists yet (hint, hint).

Alright, better get some work done before the party, which starts in about two hours.

The Fountain

First, a photo promised from yesterday's entry. Here is a view of the tree and pond outside my patio balcony, three stories up, after Saturday night's snowfall:



Last night Tara and I watched The Fountain at my apartment. It was the second time for me, first for her, and she loved it. Interestingly, the first time I watched it alone, I wasn't very impressed. It's a very deep movie, with overlapping themes of life/death/rebirth, masculine/feminine, mythological and religious symbolism, and love, all told in a non-linear format. The first time I saw it, it made me cry a lot, because there are a lot of powerfully tragic scenes. But this time, I was able to more fully appreciate the vision as a whole and I felt like I understood more of the symbolism instead of being run over by it like I was the first time.

It occurs to me how few times in my life I've sat down to watch a movie when I literally know nothing about it. Like most people, I like to have an idea what a movie is about before I spend time watching it. I got interested in The Fountain when I picked it up in a Barnes & Noble and read the description, which is quite vague, but interested me nonetheless. I rarely buy a movie sight unseen, but I put it on my birthday list, along with the companion graphic novel (which I haven't read yet). Now I'm finally glad that I did.

It occurs to me that some of my all-time favorite movies fall into this category of movies I saw without prior familiarity - The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Tampopo, Copying Beethoven, A Prairie Home Companion, just to name a few. These are usually movies that someone else brings me to, since I wouldn't normally go to a movie myself without knowing something about it. Once in a while, this is a good experience, to see something new and outside the usual milieu, or else how can we grow and discover new things?

Another quiet weekend

It was a super-quiet weekend, which is always welcome. Friday night I met Lori and her SO Erik after work and we visited the Whitney Museum of American Art. Friday night is "pay-what-you-want" night, so I paid $5. It turned out that I was overcharged, because it's not quite the quality I'm used to with the Met, MOMA and the American Museum of Natural History. We went through all five floors in a little more than an hour, and frankly, I didn't see a single work that moved me, nor were there any works from artists the general public would immediately recognize. Probably the most recognizable artist I saw was Georgia O'Keefe. Anyway, at least I got to meet Erik, of whom I've heard so much about.

Saturday morning I had to get up relatively early (9 a.m.) to go get Yoshi's brakes checked. It turned out they're still okay, although I'm down to about 20-30 percent remaining on my brake pads. I'm thinking again about trading him in for a Mini Clubman Mini Clubman when they come out in February. At that point, he'll have about 130,000 miles on him, and might be ready for a major overhaul - we'll have to see how he holds up.

After my usual errands and food shopping at Costco, I came home, made breakfast and sat on the couch all afternoon, thinking we were going to visit the Met when Bee got off work in the early evening. However, she ended up having to work late, so we canceled the trip, not wanting to be rushed like last time. So I stayed in and watched the 194-minute director's cut of Kingdom of Heaven as the first part of my sword-and-sandals series (director's cuts for Gladiator, Troy, Ben-Hur and 300 will follow in the coming weeks). I don't include Return of the King in that list (the first half of which I watched Sunday night) because that movie transcends the genre.

Sunday I didn't leave the apartment at all because we had a couple inches of snow Saturday night. The roads were okay to drive on, but since I didn't have to go anywhere, I was content to stay inside and enjoy the view. I took some pictures, but forgot to upload them, so I will post them later. Tara and Bee came over in the late afternoon and helped me put up my Christmas tree and move some furniture around - again, pictures following later. I gave Tara a manicure while Bee took a nap and we listened to the DTS DVD-Audio version of Porcupine Tree's Deadwing. Also, I finished reading my Absolute Batman: Hush book that I had bought last week - awesome story, great art, and probably my favorite Batman series not written by Frank Miller.

Only three more weeks until Christmas.

Seeing red

It's been a quiet day at work, thankfully, so I have a little time to blog, but there's really not too much going on with my life. I've been watching a lot of Rockets games, and they have won three in a row, so that's good news. I finally saw Howl's Moving Castle Tuesday night on my big screen, and the picture was breathtaking. It's only the second movie I've watched on my projector, and the first was Die Hard 3 which is mostly shots of New York or Bruce Willis' grimy face. But this latest movie by the legendary Miyazaki includes gorgeous, stunning vistas of mountains, fields of flowers, quaint towns by the sea, and massive flying battleships. Watching it on the big screen is such a different experience than watching on a regular sized TV. It really makes you appreciate the detail and pacing of the movie so much more.

The latest big news is that I went to my salon last night after work and got my hair colored red. Not bright, Raggedy Ann red, but pretty bright nevertheless. It's been nearly a year since I did anything with my hair, so my previous highlights had dark roots about 2-3 inches long. My stylist bleached the roots, layering them with dark brown lowlights. Then we used a red-violet color that turned the blonde highlights red.

You can only notice the red when light hits it; otherwise, it just looks dark brown. But the shade of red is very pretty, sort of a jewel tone purplish red that reminds me of the fading fall foliage, or a color Shirley Manson (lead singer of Garbage) might dye her hair. It might change a little as the color fades, but that's what it looks like now. It's not subtle: I've definitely noticed some stares in the subway. Also, as I was leaving the salon, another visitor said my hair was "fierce," which I guess is glamour-speak for "cool." I'll try to post some pictures this weekend when I'm out in the sun.

My new theater

Ah, what a nice, long weekend it's been! I feel almost human again.

I had a nice dinner with my family on Wednesday night, as is our tradition. Bug made a tasty vegetarian feast and after dinner we watched Die Hard 2: Die Harder as part of our Die Hard marathon. Thursday we woke up late and tried a new diner in Eagle Rock, which was pretty good, and then went to the mountaintop reservation where we could have seen the New York skyline, had it been a clearer day. Bee and Bug visited their birth families Thursday afternoon, leaving Tara and me to spend the afternoon together, which was wonderful. We went out the our local diner for a turkey dinner, then drove by to gawk at the line forming outside Best Buy on the way home.

I got up early the next day and went to Target for Black Friday at about 6:30 a.m. to buy a sewing machine and a couple of DVDs, including. Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard I was going to go to some of the electronic stores, but the crowds were such that I couldn't even get into the parking lot of Best Buy, and there was a line out the door at 6th Avenue Electronics. At that point I gave up and just went home to relax. Later in the afternoon I went to Home Depot for mounting hardware for my projection screen, and to Costco for a new DVD recorder that upconverts to 1080p to feed my projector.

Saturday my equipment came in and I picked everything up from my leasing office before going out again for some extra cables and power conditioners. I returned home and worked on installing everything for most of the afternoon. I placed the projector on my kitchen counter behind my couch, and installed the screen so that it dropped down over my existing 37-inch LCD TV, covering up my bookshelves. I also calibrated the projector to NTSC standards using my Avia reference test disc. Here's a photo of my living room with the screen retracted:



And here's what it looks like when the screen is down and the projector is on - as it was later on Saturday night when my family came over and watched Die Hard 3: Die Hard with a Vengeance:



I'm pretty happy with the way the installation turned out, and it was remarkably simple, compared to the installations I've done in the past. The projected picture, while not 1080p but 720p, is wonderfully smooth and filmlike with no noticeable pixels, excellent shadow detail and accurate color rendition. Plus, the installation is relatively unobtrusive, as you can see from the first photo with the screen retracted. I'm looking forward to making good use my new system on the weekends from now on.

Thanksgiving

Yesterday I had a little New York experience and walked to the Katagiri Japanese grocery store on 59th Street to get some kimchi. I was watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show on Korea the night before and his young tour guide brought him to a kimchi factory. Among the vast field of clay pots fermenting this spicy pickled cabbage dish, she started singing: "The hills are alive / With the smell of kimchi!" So naturally I had to have some.

Today 'tis the day before Thanksgiving, and all's quiet in the office. But apparently not quiet enough for Agent K to close the office early (grrrr). So it looks like I'm going to be stuck in traffic this afternoon with all the other schmos who can't get out early. Of course, since Thanksgiving is an American holiday I'm sure my international readers will tell me to knock it off and count myself lucky.

I really do have a lot to be thankful for this year. So much has happened in the past 11 months, that it seems like this was a very long year. Obviously, I'm thankful for my full recovery after surgery in January that kept me home from work for six weeks. I'm thankful that the fire that destroyed my apartment in March didn't occur in January when I was housebound. While I'm not thankful for the fire itself, I'm glad that it was not as destructive as it could have been; namely that most of the things destroyed were replaceable items.

I'm also thankful for the wonderful friends I've made this year, especially Agnieszka and Lori, and also for all my online friends, like Colleen, Mandy, Joanna, Nexy, Monica, Stephanie, Chris, Lily, Jenny, Cristan and all the other people who read and comment on my various Web sites. I'm thankful for my reunion with AP last week. I'm also thankful that my birth family has finally decided to leave me alone and stop writing hurtful emails for this entire year so far (although with the holidays coming up, that might change).

But I'm most thankful for my family here in New Jersey, and for all the events this summer that brought us closer, and subsequent changes that redefined our boundaries to create a more sustainable relationship. There have been good times, and bad times, but we've never lost the thread of our connection as a family. Despite some internal issues, they stood by me through surgery, and took me in when my apartment was destroyed. We continue to love, inspire and support each other as best we can, and I am deeply grateful that they have become such a big part of my life.

Blue notes

I've been feeling a bit melancholy of late, due to a number of coinciding factors. In no particular order, here are some of these factors that contribute to my current state of mind:

The onset of the holiday season - to tell the truth, I've never been a big fan of the holidays, except for the welcome break from school or work. And being Pagan, I generally don't get as whipped up into a frenzy as some Christians do about Christmas, perhaps because they only have that and Easter to show up with bells on. To me, Yule is just another celebration of the turning of the wheel, one of eight Sabbats I celebrate quietly, generally by myself.

And yet sometimes it's hard for me to ignore the fact that for the rest of the world, the holidays are about reconnecting with one's birth family as evidenced by the upcoming busiest travel day of the year tomorrow. And while my family here in New Jersey is wonderful and we have our own traditions, I am still apprehensive about the actual appointed days (Nov. 22 and Dec. 25) when I feel like I'm the only person in the world who spends these days alone (although of course that is an imagined feeling, because I know there are many, many people who are doing the same, and perhaps in less fortunate circumstances than me). But this is my pity party, so I don't have to be reasonable about it, especially since I really don't have any desire to connect with my birth family. I think I just miss the idea of having a birth family that accepts and loves me unconditionally. Given the choice, who wouldn't want that?

Missing AP - it's been a week since meeting my friend and I miss her. Nothing too complicated about that.

Work - things have been both dull and stressful at work. My productivity numbers are down because there hasn't been a lot of work to do, which isn't my fault, but reflects poorly on me nevertheless. I've actually been sending some feelers out in the job market looking for new opportunities, but probably won't make a move before the end of the year, unless the perfect fit comes up. It's also been a strain on me to not have any days off since I took them all in January and February when I was out for surgery. The last time I had significant time off was the July 4 holiday week, then one day on Labor Day, so I'm feeling pretty burned out. I can't wait until 2008 when I have a full slate of paid time off (three weeks plus sick time and holidays). Also, we're lucky to have Christmas week off until Jan. 2, so that will be a nice break.

Health - I've been dealing with allergies pretty much constantly for the last two months, and it has taken a lot of energy out of me, not to mention enough Kleenex to reconstitute a forest. With the season's first real snow arriving this week, I'm hopeful I will start to get over that soon. Also, I still haven't done any meaningful exercise this year, while the whole rest of my family has been diligently walking each day. Gotta get around to that.

Relationship issues - too private to talk about here, but this is a pretty minor quibble. I actually had a very nice time with Tara last night. We went to Fuddruckers for hamburgers and shakes, then I wiped the table with her in a game of air hockey. Then she bested me in a car racing game, and we ended up shooting basketballs together on a mini-hoop and both made the same number of shots. It's just some of the long-term issues that we have that are always going to be a source of dissatisfaction for me.

Anyway, the thing I am looking forward to is setting up my front video projector I ordered from ProjectorPeople.com yesterday. As some of you know, when I'm feeling down, I usually cure it by shopping. I ordered a Panasonic high-definition (720p) projector, a pull-down, 16x9 Draper screen that measures 82 inches diagonal and the necessary cables. I still need to add an HD-DVD player (which I'll probably get on Black Friday coming up) so I can install the whole setup on Saturday.

I've done several such installations in the past, but this will be the first one I've done for myself. I'm excited to finally work on my own setup, although since it's in an apartment, I can't do a lot of things like I've done in the past (like ceiling mounting, in-wall speakers and wiring, etc.) Still, with the rapid progress of digital video projection, this should be by far the best-looking theater in terms of picture quality I've ever done. I can't wait to get started on it over the long holiday weekend. I'll be sure to post pictures later.

The story of Agnieszka Prime

The year was 1990, a lifetime ago when I was 21 and a senior at the University of Houston. One of the last classes I had to take to graduate was only offered in summer school and at 7:30 a.m. Monday through Thursday. I am by nature a night person and I was dreading this class like most people dread going to the motor vehicle office to get their cars registered.

On the first day of class, I saw Agnieszka sitting in the classroom. We were acquainted from working on the college newspaper together the previous semester when she was a staff writer and I was the opinion editor. Ten months my senior in age, Agnieszka achieved some notoriety around school because of her unique academic talent: she speaks seven languages, earned degrees in four different majors in only four years, and graduated at or near the top of her class in all four.

So we sat together in class day after day and afterwards, she had to wait for an hour before her next class began. Since that was my only class that summer, we started going down to the student commons area each day to wait for her next class to start. I would get a donut, and we would tell each other stories, sing songs, and I opened up to her in a way that I never had to anyone else before then. Thanks to our daily visits, I managed to make every early morning class all summer, and even got an A in the class (a slightly higher A than the one she received, in fact).

All throughout the fall semester we remained close. She would visit me at the newspaper office, sometimes we went to the library together. She later confided that she was actually married to a man everyone thought was her boyfriend, but by that time I was so over my head that it didn't matter to me.

On graduation night in December, I took her and her husband and her parents, who had come all the way from Poland to see her graduate, to the symphony to hear Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade. Earlier in the day, I gave her a farewell present, a kaleidoscope. After the concert, we said goodbye and she disappeared from my life. After UH, she went to Harvard University and earned her Master's degree (and learning Japanese as her eighth language), then a law degree from Stanford, and became an attorney specializing in international project finance.

Of course, after she left, I was devastated. It literally took years before I could go for an entire day without thinking about her and missing her. The experience had many far-reaching impacts on my life, too many to chart in a single blog entry. But time does indeed heal all wounds, and in 2005, I found her using Google and we started catching up by email. Last year, we shared a single phone call, and last night we finally came full circle when we saw each other again in person for the first time since graduation night, almost 17 years ago.

So after all this, how did it go last night? It was . . . amazing. We talked so easily, as if we were both 21 again, sitting in the university cafeteria, even though we are both very different people now. I even learned her middle name for the first time, and her birthday (which was this past Sunday). I was surprised when she confessed an attraction to me back in college. In fact, when we sat side by side during the concert, she remembers wishing I would reach out and hold her hand. But I think we agreed that even if we had been completely open and honest with each other about our feelings back then, it wouldn't have changed much. Today, neither of us is married any longer, but nor are we 21-year-old college students. Time will tell where our very special friendship goes from here.

Sometimes I ask myself why I allowed myself to fall in love with her, knowing I would probably get hurt eventually. If I could go back in time to that first day in class, would I still have sat down next to her, knowing the heartache to follow? The answer is yes.

Because that year we spent together was the happiest time in my life, a time when I learned what it means to love unconditionally, to risk my heart and allow it to be broken rather than hurt the one I love. If it’s a choice between falling in love and getting hurt versus never loving at all, love is worth the risk. Life is about taking risks, not hiding in the safety of the shadows. You have to enjoy the time you have to the fullest, living in the moment, because you never know what the future brings. Somebody could be hit by a bus, hijacked by terrorists, or break your heart next week or next year - there are no guarantees. But if you go through life avoiding hurt, you will miss a lot of chances to be happy.

If I've learned anything, it's that if you’re happy now, do everything you can to stay happy. Even if you know it will end, and the ending will hurt, don't let fear overcome your heart. Because eventually, the hurt goes away, and you will remember the happy days, not the sad days, for the rest of your life, and you will have no regrets.

Catching up

Just a quick post because it's been so long. Last week was difficult at work, and as a result, I have resolved to spend less time blogging from the office. But of course there's not much motivation to spend my precious home time at the computer, so the end result is that I'm probably going to be blogging less often. I doubt if anyone (aside from the two people who have told me privately that they've noticed my absence) will mind - you all have lives outside of reading about mine, I hope!

So last weekend was pretty fun, actually, and worth mentioning. Saturday I tried to get my blood appointment in again, but it turned out that the lab hadn't received the paperwork from my doctor in Houston, so I had to reschedule once again. This was actually okay, because there was only one technician working, the waiting room was standing room only, and I overheard one woman say she'd been waiting there for three hours. I'm sure if there was a Hell, some part of it would look like that waiting room.

I had planned to go with my friend Agnieszka to the flea market, but since it was raining, and I got out of Hell late, we postponed that for next Saturday. Instead, I took Tara to Fort Lee, where we visited Hiram's Road Stand where they serve giant fried Thumann's hot dogs. We saw a segement about it a few months back on Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show about New Jersey and wanted to give it a try. Those were some good fried hot dogs, and it's a wonder that the idea has not spread further than the state of New Jersey. I'm sure Houston, perennially ranked as one of America's Fattest Cities by Men's Fitness Magazine (#6 this year) would go wild for this tasty treat.

But fried hot dogs were not enough debasement for our delicate constitutions - no, we had to go find a rare type of Japanese cream puff at a local bakery that happens to be less than two miles from Hiram's. This unique dessert is made by a company with a unique name: Beard Papa's which I heard about on the Food Network. They are only in five states, with only one location in New Jersey, which we happened to be nearby, so I couldn't pass it up, regardless of my daily calorie intake limits. So I tried a chocolate and a plain cream puff, and they were heavenly - undoubtedly the best I've ever tasted. If you are in California, Hawaii, New York, New Jersey or Massachusetts, I highly recommend them.

Saturday night I had my family over for movie night, and we watched Spider-Man 3, which they saw in the theater when it came out, but I hadn't seen yet. I liked it overall, but there were a couple of cheezy parts that did make me groan inside. I'm not sure why it didn't last very long in the movie theaters, because the action and special effects were top-notch. Maybe because non-comic readers couldn't get into the whole "sentinent goo" storyline.

Segueing perfectly into last Sunday morning, we visited the Montclair Art Museum in the morning, where they had an exhibit on comic book superheroes, plus a comic convention in the main hall. I think the highlight of the exhibit was seeing a copy of Action Comics #1, the first appearance of Superman, side-by-side with the first appearance of Batman in Detective Comics. I also bought a couple of trade paperback books at the convention, but we didn't stay long due to the smell. Some of you probably know what I mean by that.

In the afternoon we drove out toward the Delaware Water Gap to visit a historical site called Shippen Manor Museum, a restored ca. 1754 ironmaster's mansion in Oxford, NJ. We listened to historical re-enactors tell the story of how people lived in colonial times, and then visited the Oxford Furnace, a source of Patriot iron in the War of Independence. Here's some photos from that trip.

This weekend was busy, but not that interesting. Saturday I finally got my blood work done, then visited the flea market with Agnieszka, where I bought some wonderful artesian breads (olive, prosciutto and jalapeno cheese). Then I went shopping and ran my errands, before coming home to watch Ratatouille with my family. Sunday we all took a drive down to Lambertville on the Pennsylvania border to have breakfast at Sneddon's Luncheonette and spent the rest of the day hauling all their old stuff from a storage unit back up to the house. It was hard, but satisfying work, and I'm glad they finally were able to stop paying the storage fees and move forward from the time they lived down there.

The big news for today is that I'm planning to meet my college friend Agnieszka tonight in New York. To avoid confusion with my previously named friend, I will refer to the one from my past as Agnieszka Prime (AP). Some of you know my history with AP, but it's too long a story to go into now. Suffice to say, we knew each other well in college, and upon graduation, she left Houston and we lost contact for the better part of 15 years until just recently. She has residences in London and Poland, and recently had her first child. We started writing emails a couple years ago, but we haven't seen each other since graduation day, 17 years ago. She's in the city on business and flies out tomorrow for Washington DC, so we have one night to spend getting reacquainted. Does anyone else see the parallels to Richard Linklater's movie Before Sunset?

Anyway, that should get you caught up on my life. Thanks for sticking with me, and see you again soon, I hope.